Friday, August 29, 2008

When you bite your lip, all you get is a mouthfull of blood


Okay sorry I know sex addiction is a legitimate addiction requiring therapy and all but wow. David Duchovny is so yumyum yummy yum times!! Woo! I once had a guy ask me out with the classic line, "I'll play Mulder and you play Scully." Hello!

Of course I went for that. Little did I know, he actually really wanted to role play X-Files a la D&D. Hello! Not so much fun. But he was cute. Didn't last.

Anyway I love the line where his wife, Tea Leoni, admits she knew and is all "Bring it on!" then you can read the sad disappointment when it turns out, as we all know, all men are sex addicts, just not with their wives. Oh. The sad day. Poor Tea. Whatever.

Say, what's going on here?

Anyway the whole scenario reminds me of Choke, Chuck Palanuick (sp? Idon'tgivafuck)'s book, where the guy goes to AA meetings to pick up girls. Sound familiar? It's a pretty foul, messed up idea, but I guess if you're pervy, you gotta work it!

In other, better news, this sucks!

I keep up with the times, man. I roll, but even only I just learned about Chanel Black Satin a few weeks ago and it's already costing $100 bucks a bottle?! WTF? They had the same crisis with Vamp, remember beautiful, seductive, dirty nasty Vamp? And it was limited edition...until they decided to bring it back, and then redecided to make it LE. So I don't really trust this. Plus Black Satin, hit as it is now, is still fairly au courant and I don't know that all the emo kids will be up for paying $25 + for a bottle of nail polish. But since I am growing my nails, and I paint them now, I will!!!

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Sell the family headstone; drag a bag of dry bones; make good on my back loans;

I have found my new favorite name: Camboulive Angelique. Just say it. Like a Cajun! Let it roll around and off your tongue, like a sweet lolly. Wow. I'm in lurve.

It runs close competition with Tallulah Elizabeth. Felix Calvin. Su-Lauren Elizabeth. Whoops! haha

Is it time to go downtown yet?

but tonight I'm on my feet

This (I'm more interested in the Leia bikini contest than the Boba Fet outfit, personally- and what do you know, I can hardly spell my own name sometimes and I spelled Boba Fet correctly the first try!)) is about as funny queer as what I'm listening to now:

Ta Da!

Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve. Remember that song? God it takes me there. I think it was my, what, Freshman year of college? 1998? Anyway (yes I gave it away, I'm almost 30, gasp!), one of my best friends, Bryan, and I used to just go driving, driving all over the place trying to find the most remote corners of the Ozarks and Colorado, and then out the car, and hiking, hiking all over the place, listening to this song on repeat (and It's the end of the world as we know it (and I feel fine) trying to sing the lyrics faster than each other, faster than the song, always always failing.)

And isn't that a blast from the past? Anyway it's funny how I haven't spoken to him in years, and we were inseparable for better or worse. I was looking for a picture of someone and I came across a photo of him. We had really good times. But in seeing the photograph, I just couldn't help but think of nothing. Nothing came to mind. Just a smile. And I put it away. Isn't life strange like that. Anyway I think he's well. I wish him the best.

In other news, How hot does Kelly Osbourne look? Hott enough for a little Axel Grease apparently. I love how the source is Richie Rich of Heatherette. I just adore their Eurotrashy style!

Come back unto me

Immunity. Hell. What a concept.

A topic on my mind, most all the time, is the mortality of the ones I love. Mostly my moma and my dad. I can't help it. It's not morbid to me. It just is. I think already having lost a parent will do that to you. The preciousness never escapes. I need _____?

So anyway my mother. Her sense of humor grows daily in these incredible leaps and bounds. Like she will never be bawdy, my mother, not like me. Not like how I love to fall out of my chair, laughter rising from the gut, crying, loud (as I am loud), pure laughter. She doesn't get most pop references, or maybe better yet, irony eludes her. Not to say my moma isn't the brightest, most hard-working woman I've ever met. But it's that difference between people who have to study and those who don't. Moma doesn't hold the hand of the humor muse. And that's fine because when she is funny, it's the most genuine. It's pure and true. It's really, shockingly funny. Dry. Intense. So different than the woman I know. This woman doesn't "get" The Simpsons but she "gets" her life (and does a wicked Thorazine patient in the process). So in what I have to learn from her, the wiser she gets, the funnier she becomes.

For example: When I became engaged, my moma and I were, more or less, at wit's end with each other. For differing reasons that mean nothing now, she and I were not getting along. My getting married was a hard hurdle for her. It's okay and had nothing really to even do with me or the man I married. (Aye, there's the rub). So basically she'd been a big brat. And knew it. And my parents also knew my devotion to a dear Mr. Swiffers (dream dachshund puppy extraordinaire). And came across a free dachshund puppy, who became, as you all know, my dear Wuppy Puppy Wilbur J. Waddlesworth, III. He's a black and tan. Black with tan accents all over.

So we're playing with him in the yard. He's TINY. So freaking tiny. And he just follows me around everywhere and I just instantly love him. My little man. And my mom and I are sitting on the porch at their old house in Salem, and watching puppy and dad play. And my mom leans over to me and asks me what I'll name him. And I'm not sure yet. I haven't learned his personality. I go into all this blah blah about the importance of a name, the talismanic effect (as I was once told) of a good name, etc etc. And she's just sitting there. Blinking. And she goes:

"Well, you know what I would name him?"
"I'd call him Anus. Because that little brown heart on his behind is just too cute!"
Straight faced, she gets up and walks toward the dog going, "Come here little Anus!"

Is that where I get it?

Don't ask me where this came from. All these jumbled up thoughts pour out rather randomly some times.

You're eating cartilage. shark-eyes. shark-heart.
all present tense.

all time fav!

Who doesn't love Momma Biden? I was sorry I missed Bill speak last night but we got our timing wrong. Also sorry I missed Hill speak but you know, whatever. The past is in the past for a reason. Time marches on. I'm ready for a change.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008


Junk from Sam King on Vimeo.

More of these soon as I watch them all. There's a really earthy tone to SamRex's voice, that in my current state of exhaustion post-Bunko night, just lulls me right on to sleep. Sing on to my children, man.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Did you ever call? I waited for your call

E.T., do I need an iphone???

No seriously. Do I?

I need a personal calendar that I can carry with me. My little Burberry one from college is long gone, fallen apart, mutilated by my constant use-abuse. I've tried keeping up with other written ones but it's just so much easier to sync my family (me and Hubs) google calendar with my work Outlook calendar and then how great would that be to take it with me so I can A: stop writing on my hands and looking like a kindergartener, and B: force myself to remember things. Isn't that why I have a calendar? To do the remembering for me?!?

And then it would double as a phone? WOW! I'm not real big on crazy cell phones. I need a phone with a phone book, a phone, and a silence button (for those days when Auntie Sully is either working and can't take your call or is hung over and can't take your call- come on, the ringing HURTS MOMA).

I would like to carry my music with me and have it plug into my car (where my sad mp3 player seems so old fashioned, poor poor HellEment) but I totally worship my ipod shuffle. I hate having to make playlists and going and digging around in Hubs ipod. I want instant gratification and I want it now. Ipods are just too much f-ing work, for reals.

BUT you can play Pandora radio on your iphone. BUT it's like come on. Really. Do I need that.

I played with Collins's iphone at the baby shower. I guess I should have been playing with his baby girl but I'm already out of my wanting a baby phase, whoops. And my biggest problem is that not graceful, no fingernailed Sully can't type on the dang thing worth a flip. It's really hard to have not come out as wee/tiiruvw/cp, You know, that's not English!

So maybe a Blackberry. Maybe a little typariter I can carry in a leather satchel circa WWII and live out my fantasies of being a French Legion reporter. Vive La Vichy! (shakes head).

Anyway, go over to Jenn and give her some support. She's got a cool new look and she's going back to school. Two things I will never do. I'm going to look this way and stay this smart FOREVER!

We just want to emote 'till we're dead

For musicheads and Frenchyphiles.

I can't decide which is my favorite but now it's a tie between The Shins and Vampire Weekend.

Lights will guide you home

And one day....
I am going to grow wings
A chemical reaction
Hysterical and useless

Today is definitely a Herbie Hancock kind of day. Where's some "Sly" when I need it? Hell, I'll even take "Watermelon Man" if it were available.

Part of my job is record maintenance. Basically I keep us from being audited by the gub'ment mistah! And anyway it's fine. It's the blah worky work part of what I do but I enjoy it bc sometimes you just need some buckle down worky work. Anyway, I have to request and read medical records on our pts that have AR Medicare (the one you get when you're old, or if you entered a coma as a child, and yes, we have several patients like that) to ensure that they actually need the supplies the doctor's are prescribing. Kinda messed up but you know, whatever. People can't complain if they're not paying the bills, sad as that is.

So I come across this one patient and his doctor appears very friendly, caring on paper. I'm reading for one or two specific diagnoses, sometimes they're on the first page, most times I have to dig for them. This pt I had to dig for. So I'm reading/skimming. Reading/skimming. And even now I'm tearing up just thinking about it.

I read about this man's life seen through his doctor in 3 month increments. And it's all backwards. Like Time's Arrow if I could remember it. The man is being treated for severe depression, attempted suicide. Then weight gain, mild depression. Then gout brought on by stress, depression. It states how the pt mentions how he buried his wife a week earlier. How he's working on learning how to cook and clean as they can't afford care and his wife is bed ridden. How she's been diagnosed with fatal lung cancer. Then statements on the patient's cheery outlook, average weight, complete and total health. Back to front.

Finally, I quit reading. The pages back were more about what great health this pt is in. And how sunny his disposition. And then, on the very last page, the statement I need. I have game night with the girls tonight. I don't need this. Sometimes it's just too hard.

I think I'll be taking lunch out of the office today.
Husband is completely addicted to "I Kissed a Girl" and he's almost ruined it for me like I ruined the Pet Shop Boys' version of "You were always on my mind" for him. Hey, we can't all be red headed strangers. I'm ready to go more blonde.

I'm ready for football and soups and fires. Snuggle ups and sleepytimes.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Vote, Baby, Vote

Are you registered baby?

So if you're in the NYC metro area between the 4th September and the 4th October, you should swing by this gallery and see some awesome work. And while you're there, buy something, will ya? We're sadly going to miss the show, the gallery isn't open while we're there, but Halsey's traveling then anyway, and won't even be there so I guess it's 6 of one...

The Wilson household heartily approves of Obama's pick for Veep, Sen. Biden, of Delaware. "He everybody, we're going to Delaware."

Now we can get an Obama/Biden sign for our yard. If they ever open up the Arkansas Dem HQ ever again. RIP Bill Gwatney. That was some messed up shiz.

Nat and Scott's baby shower was fun last night. It was good to see everyone. Now another cup o' French Press and I have to get my butt to church!

Saturday, August 23, 2008

It felt so wrong It felt so right


We're going to see Equus on Broadway when we're in NYC. I've wanted to see this play for years!!!! Naked Harry Potter, here I come!!!

Friday, August 22, 2008

The girl you lost to cocaine

This song by Sia has been on repeat in my car and my mind for months now. Especially today.

I've stuck around, through thick and through thin
You cannot deny, I've always been in
But I've watched you stand, still as a snowman
But I don't see you change, you're always at meltdown

Yeah I've been your crutch, your smell sight and touch
Yeah I took you home when you've drunk too much
But I can't survive, with you by my side
See I'll never get laid, while I'm running your life

No I just don't wanna, so I'm walking away
There is nothing that you can do I will not stay
No I don't need drama, so I'm walking away
Yeah I am a girl with a lot on her plate

So just cut me loose, learn to tie your shoes
There's somebody here, I'd like to introduce
So look in the mirror, look for the glass
'Cause you're not my problem, you are my last

No I just don't wanna, so I'm walking away
There is nothing that you can do I will not stay
No I don't need drama, so I'm walking away
Yeah I am a girl with a lot on her plate

No I just don't wanna, so I'm walking away
There is nothing that you can do I will not stay
No I don't need drama, so I'm walking away
I'm just a girl that you lost to cocaine

Yesterday, I was so proud. I rode my bike while Hubs golfed. Warmed up, up over the Big Dam Bridge, opposite side of the river from Heifer Project (the furthest I've ever been), decided out of pure curiosity, to keep going. Past the skate park and the 14 year old lost boys and their hidden cigarettes, through all the underbrush, past the homeless camp where the one guy pumped his fist as I flew past, kept going. Popped out in catfish town on the edge of Argenta. Figured, I was closer to keep going than to turn around. Pushed. Pushed. Came to the bridges, over the Argenta bridge (terrifyingly high, the Arkansas River swelled and bursting from all the rain), into downtown Little Rock, praying the whole time no one would open their car doors on me. The trolley dinged it's bell at me. Past the Salvation Army Homeless Depot, under the bridges in hobo town, past the wharf warehouses, and back. I made it just in time for lightening strikes and Husband listening to Missy Elliott. Cheeks flushed, I could barely walk (my bad knee was really hurting), he loaded my bike into the truck. Home times. Scrabble. Scallops for dinner. Sleep. Deepest sleep in ages.

Sweet Pee, I did it. In so many ways. Thank you.
Mrs. Doo

Thursday, August 21, 2008

I'll see you in Heaven if you make the list

"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans; the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too."
— W. H. Murray, The Scottish Himalayan Expedition (1951)

This quotation reminds us that the first true step in making important changes in our lives is the commitment to do so. When we finally do commit, the entire universe works on our behalf. As it turns out, mind over matter does matter.

This is from my daily, The Guru is You, email. Something about how basic it is really struck home. For all the people that have entered and exited my life, it is always the ones who can not commit, to anything, that I'm most glad to see go. Men, women, lovers, loves, friends, enemies, frenemies. ha. It's that underlying fickleness in people that is so grotesque. So disconcerting. So FOA*. Sometimes, it's mine own fickle nature that's frustrating as well. How I allow some people to always take advantage bc I love them. Family. Friends. Others. How do I side-step this behavior?

I can't. The truth is, and it's a secret, sometimes, I don't want to. Take that, cup it in your hands before it flies away, slide it in a jar, and store it for later. When that secret ripens, bring it back to me. I will have missed it by then. The folly of my youth and whatnot. The joy that sometimes, just sometimes, ignorance brings.

*FOA, from the Latin, for Fascination of the Abomination. Because, you know, that Mr. Kurtz, he dead.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

The gray sky is bittersweet

Jebus, what a day.

I was ready to quit by lunch then my Youth Home meeting (so excited!) and then just slam slam slam more of the same.

I will hang my head low. One more hour to go.

Then tan, fierce fast hour walk, then beers, sweet beers and grilled salmon and veggie kebabs!

It has rained since yesterday. Again. I don't mind the rain, but I hope it only just sprinkles until I get back from walking. Nothing says loving like soggy spandex!

No love's as random as God's love

Ahh!! Two great, no three great things!

First, I fit into my post college skinny jeans!!! WOOO!

Second, I FINALLY found a Bob Dylan song that doesn't make me want to hang myself. Cold Iron Bounds. Totally awesome music. Not 40 mins long of A-dab-a-dee-ba, A-dab-a-doo-ba. Thanks be!

Third, I cut my hair short bc I'm trying to grow it out (trust me, it really makes sense) so it's in this red/blonde/brown bob right below my ears. Straight. And finally, finally cute! And I like it! Yippee! My hair is funny that way. I have to cut it shorter than I'm comfortable with bc it grows so quickly that in a week, it's perfect! Then in 2 weeks it shaggy and cute. 3 weeks, shaggier and cute. 4 weeks BAM! totally not cute anymore.

I can't stand it! I can't stand it! YEOW!

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

We're four boys in corduroys // We're not terrific but we're competent

Sometimes I really like this poem. Sometimes I really don't.

You Fit Into Me - Margaret Atwood

You fit into me
Like a hook into an eye.

A fish hook
an open eye.

Right now, I can't decide but it makes me want to reread The Handmaid's Tale, and also this.

Post apocalyptic Margaret Atwood? I think I will.

"In the Spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt."
Margaret Atwood

I Decided

(Click to make it larger, fuller, more desirable)

I think that one's my favorite. No correction. It's a favorite.

Oh my. Please. Yes. If you love me, please buy me any and all.

I so need to be in California NOW! $15 frequent flyer plane ticket here I come!

So I totally gave in and bought a whole bunch of pop off itunes. I don't necessarily want the whole albums but the singles, spot on!

Katy Perry's I Kissed a Girl (although Hubs would admit, my version is So.Much.Better. Opera style! ha)

Solange's I Decided. GOD so hot. Such a hot song. HOT HOT HOT. I am such a Soul girl, Diana Ross, never Bouncy but always Solange! Here's the song and video below. Totally work safe. Play it and they'll think it's your radio. So doo-wop. So Shangri-Las. So PERFECT!

The funny thing is, I'm such a nerd, the guy is playing a Fender Rhodes but come on! Everyone knows the music line is an actual piano. Still ok. Huge fan.

Whatever, have you seen her makeup?!

I love it! when women rock those crazy colors.

(I know it can be a little too tranny disco, but still fun.)

this girl

that girl

and of course, Mimi!!

haha Ohio!

Monday, August 18, 2008

We fell up to see the rows. Gardening at night.

I can't explain it. Okay, here's the scenario. I'm sitting at my desk working. We're a small, locally, family owned business who would rather keep overhead low and enjoy better vacations because of it! So I don't have a window. Not that big a deal, I know a lot of people that don't have windows. But I also rarely get outside during the workday. I mean I'm pretty much buckled down, working hard in spurts, get up to pee, fax something, back to the desk. Again not that big a deal. It makes the time pass really quickly and to save money and lose weight, I don't eat out for lunch hardly ever. So I don't see the daylight but when I come in and when I leave most days.

And so I'm sitting there, working, Funk radio just isn't cutting it, and I just feel it. It has to be raining, right? It happens every so often. I just know it's storming out. Do I want it to be storming out? I check, and it's no closer to rain than I am to giving up Michael Phelps mania.

So what gives? I check online, and come across rain in dream interpretation. "Rain tends to link to things that are unsettling you." Which there has been a lot unsettling me lately so I guess it makes sense. But something particular about today? Hmmm I would love nothing more to curl up in my orange blanket, next to a fire, it's cold and wet outside, hug mug of French Press coffee (I will master this!)

I feel like my desire for forgiveness, to live in a forgiving world, has been tested. Maybe that's it. Maybe that's all of it.
In other, better, less random news, I can fit into my fancy underwear from college! HAHA!!! Every girl keeps her keepsake precious things and I now, again, once again, fit into mine. Meaning I'm almost the same size as I was mostly through college. My wedding dress falls off me. This little bit of red fabric has been a real motivator! I should frame it!

It's been a long time....


So we're a week behind in our tivo bc Husband and I just can't seem to get past the video above. Patton Oswalt is just a pure genius plus we've been long Tim and Eric fans. But this. This really tops it. Throughout the day, one of us would just play it bc we both knew it was on our minds from the constant eruptions of giggles.

We barely made it through Apocalypto for the giggles, and it was actually a really good movie (although the ending I'm a bit historically dubious of but you know, whatever Mel. You own that town!)

We could barely make it through buying groceries. Using the bathroom. Sleeping. It's that infectious, this video. And completely safe for work and whatever. Not that you care bc you're a bad ass, right? Am I right?


Reading the Lost Sciptures of Thomas, Mary, and a bunch of other crazy Hebrews who's names I'm still learning how to pronounce. And why? Because Gnosticism is hott!

This weekend was great. I love the Travelers games. But White Water was prob. not the best idea. I'm ready to getting back to Sundays where I actually got a lot done. Although had I felt the best of all, I still wouldn't have been able to go anywhere for the video. Tim and Eric!!!

Friday, August 15, 2008

She says you’re not there and I should take care

Did you hear the one about Jennifer Aniston? So I didn't know until today that John Mayer (my former boyfriend) and Jenn Aniston broke up. But with all her baby talk, who wouldn't? Yikes.

Anyway I'm glad to know a couple of blogs that I read are keeping the world in check about it all. When you have time, go back to the start, Surviving Myself. Pretty funny stuff.


I’ll check the phone
I’ll check the mail
I’ll check the phone again and I call your mom

Light up my life, so blind I can't see

Here's something for the ladies. TGIF, bitches. I like her quote about soul mates. In fact, I like a lot of things about Madonna.

Like you didn't already know that.

Take me as I come 'cause I can't stay long

Our Wilson family motto: To fly with the birds.

I am precious. I am a human being. I am not an object, piece of meat for anyone's voyeur town. Treat me like I have emotions and I think you'd be surprised at how you will gain understanding. Feelings. A life of your own.
Anyway, Too many things. One thing. All keeping me from progress. I finished it yesterday. With strong support, love you Sweet Pee and Bdog and Husband, I finished it. I chose my marriage, and (it always surprises me), my marriage chose me. One of these days, I will have shed that skin completely and will see that it is this love I truly deserve.

What a wonderful world.

Now to get on with what's important. We have baseball and Habitat for Humanity this weekend.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Side with the seeds

It's not a crown you hold over my head.

Let it go.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

You need a change of mind

Maybe I'm just blind.

Husband emailed me that the head of the Arkansas Democratic Party was shot at HQ today. Link here.

My dad called me at work wanting to talk about it. Well we all know the political environs at work, but fuck it. I was upset. It's scary. My dad, who hid his secret wish for Obama from my mom, a die hard Hillary constituent (we're a bit yellow dog, if you couldn't tell), is really worried it's white supremacists or ignorant rednecks convinced Obama is going to turn us Taliban.

People are so stupid you know. I'm not sure. A similar gunman was spotted at the Baptist Convention downtown, that's close but not next door to the Dem HQ, but I'm thinking that was probably rumor. Things get started so quickly in a small area when people are scared. And really, who wants to shoot a Baptist?

I told my dad it easily could be rednecks as not. You just never know these days. Nothing was stolen from the HQ that they've determined so far. Just crazies. White men crazies. Dad, who has always been very involved in bettering race relations in our state, starting way back when, when he was the only white kid on an athletic scholarship to Hendrix (a small liberal arts college that used to have sports), is worried for Obama's safety. There's a lot of hate out here, you know, my dad says. I know, I say. But I tell him chin up. That, as Husband and I have talked, maybe now that my generation is growing older, we'll be less tolerant of such unjust ways. That we'll see a peace keeper no matter his color or supposed religious background (hey I married into the Church of Christ, they're crazy!! haha!). That we're tired of warmongering. That we're tired of being cast in this 9-11 shadow of conspiracy and doubt and playing off fear.

I think Tom Tomorrow said it best when he said "Fuck you man. I still remember how 9-11 smelled."

I tell my dad these things and he sighs. Just like how my Husband sighs. They think I'm too new soul. Too naive. Surprised I actually am a patriot, believe in my country and it's people. Think people are smarter than they really are. Believe that they keep blinders up because they don't know any better. As Hubs points out, people keep blinders up because it's easier to do so.

But then again.

More Tom Tomorrow links.

Let it whip!

A woo hoo!

I've found another reason why my kind of dog is supremely the best:

The check out part at the end is my favorite.

Awww I love my Wilbur. My Wuppy Puppy. Mon cheri mon. Mon mon.

PS Let it Whip by the Dazz Band. Totally completely utterly ants in your pants dance action.

OH! and speaking of. Hubs also introduced me to GirlTalk (the link is name your own price download, highly so worth it!) and OOOOOOOOOOO!! I'm so in love (it gets a little old about halfway through) but why didn't we have this for all our dance parties? He's the apex of dj-ing. The best in the world?

Where does Hubs find all this good music?!?!

It is Soul Makossa!

What a wonderful day! Aside from the fact that my headband is slowly pinching my brain out of my ears, I still look good! ha

First off, just visit the Onion homepage today. So many options. So little time. Cooter Obama (see above), Olympic fever, Least Popular Widgets, God I love the Onion. My dear Chrissy used to bring them to us (in real live paper form!) back when they were based in Wisconsin or Chicago or somewhere thereabouts. WAAAY before they moved to NYC. I'm just that cool. No, but she is!

The Olympic madness was awesome last night. We just couldn't go to bed, well Hubs did, but I couldn't. The women's diving was pretty cool, water polo (so that's how that's played), Michael Phelps, Michael Phelps, Michael Phelps!!!, and then the women's fall down gymnastics. Both Chiner and the USA were sucking it up. But I ain't mad at'cha. Ain't no way in hell you'd ever see me shatter my ankle on a balance beam. I can do that walking on the street just fine thanks!

And then this answers our question. I mean wow. I knew that guy would have to eat a lot. It takes a lot of food to fuel such a power house. But 12,000 calories a day?!?! Funny, for all the ads, I didn't see that Phelps was eating much McDonald's in there. What those crooks will lead you to believe!

Getting on with it, but sadly, not getting it on.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

we are not the same I am a martian


It's probably not safe for work, the you tube link, unless you can wear headphones and not worry about Big Brother's opinion of you. But for those of you not convinced you need to own the new Lil' Wayne album, I had to put one of the best songs up to show you how ill informed you are.

It's like Parliament and Wu Tang Clan had a baby and named it Lil' Wayne. As you can tell from the creepy album cover on the you tube clip, Lil' Wayne was born crying tears for the streets. And he lets you know all about it.

Husband introduced me to the gem of an album on our way to a family reunion. Nothing like listening to old school, hard core rap on the way to a church gathering. It really got me in the spirit.

Anyway, sucking on these, and swallowing all pride, you should go buy this. Or steal it off the internet. I don't think Lil' Wayne cares. Seriously. You have 13 bucks to spare.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Buy the sky and sell the sky and lift your arms up to the sky and ask the sky

Booberry, the sadly, the left behind, of the cartoon monster mash cereal brands. Remember that guy? We are planning a baby shower for my friends Gonads and Dr Poops (long story) and they're having a boy (nickname TBD) and we were thinking blue cupcakes. With little plastic babies to go inside them. It's equally as creepy as it will turn out fun! Because any baby shower mixed with alcohol, to make those non pregnant feel better, provides fun memories as to how your own child was conceived, exactly 9 months later! Woo!

See also:


Dear Husband, I have completely found your Halloween costume:

Also, while on this little trip, remember these little records you used to could get with boxtops and shit. I had the McDonald's one, a Peter Pan one, and a Disco duck one! They were so flimsy and shitty. But wow. I felt special. We never got cool foods in my house when we were growing up. The closest thing I can remember is the ice cream truck came to our neighborhood some times and my dad used to let me peel the red rim off the baloney for our sandwiches. He was a single dad in the early 80s. Can you really blame him? But everynowandthen, one of my parents would feel guilty enough when they were slurping Tab and my brother and I had no sweet treaties to speak of, and they'd buy us some terrible sugar cereal. Exploding on our sugar high, we would go out, not to be seen for 4-5 days. When we finally arrived home, mom would have the record player set up with those cute little rubber records. Or whatever they were. Sweet.

Anyway, this is funny:

It finally rained!!!

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Hot Buttered Soul

Isaac Hayes and Bernie Mac both die in one weekend? That's not cool.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Why must I feel like that? Why must I chase the cat?

Can't. Stop. The. Feeling.

Even Still. The Road is one of my faves! Run Viggo, Run!

Perfect strangers when we meet

Jules Kirschenbaum

Completely badical.

The wise man built his words upon the rocks but I'm not bound to follow suit

Notice anything different?! It only took me about 300 hours but slowly and surely I am learning html n' shizz. Because I am the HTML MASTER BLASTER! (giggle giggle giggle)

Anyway I am completely torn between 2 colors. Cantaloupe (current and present) and Rococco Red (coming tomorrow). If you care, let me know which you like best.

Loves, my lovelies,



Did you never call? I waited for your call
These rivers of suggestion are driving me away.
The ocean sang, the conversation's dimmed
Go build yourself another dream, this choice isn't mine.

Slow down my beating heart

(Michael Stipe, I'm so in love)

Do you remember Star 69? hahaha that was so Jr High for me.

Husband and I decided to scrap last night. He'd been in Memphis for work and was exhausted so we got home, napped and read and finally roused to thunder shaking the house and dinner downtown. It was perfect timing too! We walked right on into Flying Fish, one of our favorite restaurants (make it Snappy!) and got our food and sat right before the line out the door crowd got there. We walked across the new pedestrian bridge, part of the 6 Bridges work, and it's really pretty and cool up there. But my fear of heights really kicked in and I started getting dizzy so we had to come down.

SO point being: one thing I read at dinner that was so cool is that Arkansas DHS is relaxing their previous automatic denials of any couple (this still irks, but baby steps) under 41 from being able to adopt a baby under 1 year old. They haven't changed the law (and on the law, I'm not too certain), but they are reviewing each case on an individual basis. Husband and I know we want one birth child. But I don't want to stop there. And I just can't in good conscious have kids knowing there are so many wonderful children out there that just need a fighting chance. This brings us one step closer to our goal! (dream, dream) I don't know, but we may be closer to parenthood than we ever thought. (slowly, slowly love)

It was a really nice evening. Then home and this awesome movie, Before the Devil Knows You're Dead, with Phillip Seymore Hoffman, Marisa Tomei (like hot and topless the whole movie), and Ethan Hawk. It was SO good and I really wasn't expecting it to be.

I had all these crazy dreams, I was crying a lot, and missing a ton of phone calls (go figure?) but it was some of the best sleep I've had in a long time. Really restful. I have tomorrow off work. I plan on taking Wilbur to the vet, getting a couple hours of workout in, and cleaning house/working in the yard/none of the above and going shopping!

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

16, clumsy, and shy. I got a room at the Y-WCA.

I said I like it here, can I stay?

J'adore The Smiths. Back in the day, just after college when my world had completed it's falling apart and I was just starting to put Humpty back together again, my little group, les artistes batards, would pass our nights sitting at my house and eating dinner, listening to The Smiths, someone would be painting, Texas Chainsaw Massacre would be playing in the background, we would venture to JR's, stay there all night speaking to each other in French and Spanish, talk about how wonderfully complicated it is to be us, sit in each other's laps, find each other someone to go home with, finally fall asleep in the wee hours, get up and do it all over again. I wouldn't trade those memories in for anything, not even the one most thing I desire. It was always something with us. And it was always fun. We were probably too careless with each other. It's times we'll never get back.


Oh just finished an HIV critical care workshop that lasted a long long looooooong time in dear, sweet, nasty Pine Bluff.

So in need of caffeine and more shopping.

Last night with Piper was a blast. I scored me the cutey-est saddle bag and some classic 80's Ray-Bans. I completely caved and bought more MAC for myself, Lord knows I didn't need it, but you know I have all the blues, yellows, greens, and pinks of the MAC world. I really did need just some browns. I'm also proud to report, I'm a Medium at little stick figure world of Forever 21. Take that and shove it! But don't worry. Baby still got back, just a whole lot less of it, apparently.

Then it was shrimp salad, Albarino (this lovely, easy white wine), and Mexican Hot Chocolate gelato (don't even GET me started, drool) and John Thomas's restaurant, Za Za's. I'm so proud of him. That placed was booked solid even on a Tuesday night.

It was fun to say the least. Now I need to go back and finish what we started.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Garbo as the Farmer's Daughter

“What we notice when people age,” he says, “is that our fat pads start falling, the cheeks start dripping down, and we start losing volume in the upper face and it causes sagging in the lower face. You lose what we call the ‘youthful convexities’ of the face. And the convexities are the fullness and the roundness. And they get broken up into uneven planes. Instead of being one smooth convex plane, it becomes hills and valleys.” He pauses for a moment. “God, I wish I had my slideshow.” quoth the good Dr. Brandt, from NY Mag.

God being a woman who cares (the tee-incy-est bit all the way to the whole she-bang) is really scary and tough. I'll admit, at 28, I've already had a Botox consultation. And then m'lady Frankie shamed the hell out of me about it, scared me away, boo hiss ugly ugly to only inform me a month or so later, she, too, had her own consultation. Frankles! I'll get you yet!

But I mean really. Being a carbon copy of my mother, I know exactly where I'm going to need to boost God's beautiful creation, so to speak. Why not start now? I've got some spare change.

I mean it's nothing for a girl our age to get a boob job or boob reduction. Lipo is a bit rare, but I think that's just bc we're in Arkansas. And besides that's way more real surgery than I'm even talking about. I mean a little eyelid work (although Brenticus scared me from ever losing my sleepy eyed look, hmmm), little brow lift, little lip plump (although for the time being, DuWop lip venom is amazing, and painful!)

Maybe I'm just in a girly mood. It's Piper week this week and she is so girly she always brings the girly girl out of me. Tonight is dinner and a movie. Then tomorrow, while Husband is off working in Memphis, she and I get to go shopping! I'm treating us to a new MAC lipstick each (perk of owning so much MAC, when you're ready, you can trade it in for new goods!!) I'm thinking Culture Clash lipglass.

Hmmmm it's a day of hot links! haha

turn on you turn on you turn on you

Wes and Tasha's wedding was awesome. If you can't tell from the pic, those two are quite the super team!

Anyway, LR locals, The Libras played their wedding and it was seriously like having Wilco right there. We had a blast. It was good to finally get to downtown for the first time in a long while. And see Tanner! Yea!

Now working hard. Trying to get our VooDoo Fest trip booked. Hey yo dude, that's exspronsive!

Friday, August 1, 2008

You're just like a dream


So incredibly sad. Good thing Obama is TOO FIT to be President. Because you know, not having a lazy, fat ass slob in the White House to set the standard would be really, well lazy, fat ass slobby of us!

Look at the stars, look how they shine for you

Okay so I picked this up (along with probably too many other things) from Free and Flawed, and I think it's pretty awesome bc I'm in adore with someecards.

So here's my someecard meme (using someecards to describe yourself). Let's see if I can limit it to some quantity not rediculous, ok? To be fair, though, I'll limit it to my last month. How's about it?

It's been a good month for hauntings. Don't you think?

So many weddings this summer. Remind me of my own taking over/giving in.

It's been an extremely busy, but still kinda lonely month.

For the scurrilous dogs. Bow wow.

Yep. Sorry. All totally true. The entire Asian continent just totally puzzles me.

yeah yeah yeah. I know. I know.

This is for everyone else. God knows, I don't try to make these thoughted thinks.

Completely, utterly true.

Afternoon Delight!

One of my favorite scenes from any movie is The Afternoon Delight scene in the Anchorman: Ron Burgundy movie. Mostly because I'm totally in love with Paul Rudd. And that movie is just awesome. Jazz flute anyone? Anyway work reminds me of that today for some reason. Just really busy but the eavesdropping is awesome. I shouldn't eavesdrop. That's probably fairly terrible.

Having Bdog and lil' M time was AWESOME yesterday. I really needed that. Even though all we talked about was Milla, and babies, and pregnancy, (topics I generally stay away from) I was so enthralled. Bdog is a wonderful mom. Milla is a perfect babe. She's hilarious in that she looks, has the expressions, as a carbon copy of her dad. To the T. It's kinda weird in a funny haha way. Bdog is one of my best friends and although I don't get to see her as much as I'd like, she's such a rock to me. She made me completely feel like, when it's my time, I, gasp!, could be a mom.

I wouldn't drop my baby. Forget my baby. Lock my baby in a car or something completely Mitt Romney and stupid and totally what I'm afraid of. But the scariest thing to me about baby's, Milla totally took care of. I was holding her and tickling her little potato belly and I feel this pfft! and I look at the little tooter and she's just smiling and giggling away. I go, laughingly, "She just farted on me!!" and Bdog says, "Oh no, that was no fart! That was poopy!" hahaha and we just laughed it off.

Well what do you know. I didn't melt. We cleaned her up. It really, surprisingly wasn't that bad. Maybe that's something I could do. As Piper said to me the other night, "You know, you could have a baby. Maybe that would change some things." Maybe she's right. Maybe she's right.

Next summer, I'm growing heirloom tomatoes. Too bad the seeds are so high. They are mighty mighty tasty!

I'd completely forgotten about this R.E.M. song. Oh, my heart just aches for Michael Stipe.
Sometimes I feel like I can't even sing
I'm very scared for this world
I'm very scared for me
Eviscerate your memory
Here's a scene
You're in the back seat laying down
The windows wrap around
To sound of the travel and the engine
All you hear is time stand still in travel
And feel such peace and absolute
The stillness still that doesn't end
But slowly drifts into sleep
The stars are the greatest thing you've ever seen
And they're there for you
For you alone you are the everything