Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Tender is the night, lying by your side

Today is my 2nd wedding anniversary and both my dear Hubs and I both totally forgot!!! WHOOPS! hahaha. Husband, Christopher Neale Diamond Wilson, I am so glad you're mine. I'm so glad to be Mrs. Wilson with you. Loverly!

Spencer's 30th Birthday Party was a blast!!!

Will was only sad because he and I didn't get to rap our Prince classic "Get Off" like back in the old days.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

So let it whip

Here's some of my holidays!

The Barbie presents.

The gingerbread house we made.

Me and Lo and Dad's Crocs and petting the puppy.

Annual family dinner at Fred's Fish House, Mammoth Spring, AR.

My dad and Bonnie, the dog who will only ride shotgun.


Lo and Lucy, the very patient kitty.

Who's in the middle?

Henry moves stealthily around the house, from Florida to Arkansas, he's everywhere!

Rocking around the Christmas Tree

Hey everyone,

I'm still here. I miss you all. I will call. Just right now is not the best time. Take care. Here's a picture of my doggie to keep you occupied!

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Sign your "X" on the line

RIP Eartha Kitt. You were amazing.

Now, on with the 30th Spencer Birthday pouring rain apocalyptic weather birthday party!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

I've got a surprise!

Hubba, hubba, hubba, Su-Lauren! Isn't this a fun time of year? Lights everywhere, mistletoe, eggnog... and all the receiving!

Indeed, because when you receive, not only do you affirm your own worthiness and open the way for more, but you make possible even greater joys for the giver.

Tallyho, ho, ho,
The Universe

I affirm! I affirm!

Chrissy I am working on calling you back. I love you darling.

Work work work until noon then deliver goodies all over town! Yea! Christmas with parents was good last night. We got some cool stuff. I got lots of wonderful vintage green jewelry that will look great with my party dress!! Then tonight is Christmas Eve service at church which always has the best music. Then Hubs is making us grilled sea bass dinner.

THEN tomorrow is rise early and pack warm for hiking Mount Magazine and staying Christmas day at the lodge there. I am very thankful this holiday season, no matter what holiday season you want to call it.

Moma LOVED my party dress. I'm so stoked!!!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

In the arms of my big nurse

The new David Byrne and Brian Eno album is awesome. Everything that Happens Will Happen Today.

ESPECIALLY My favorite song, My Big Nurse. Country David Byrne. I love it!


When the lake's on fire
With all the world's desires
When he shakes the stars above
When we lose the ones we love

When the seasons lose their grip
When the tighrope walker slips

I'm counting all the possibilities

When the past becomes the now
When the lost becomes the found
When we fall in love with war
When the angel fucks the whore

When the road we travel on
Takes us back where we came from

I'm counting all the possibilities
For dancing on this lazy afternoon

In the comfort of the world
In the arms of my big nurse
From the science of the heart
To each animal and plant

Compact, relaxed- intact, give thanks

I'm counting all the possibilities
For dancing on this lazy afternoon

Ho Ho Ho F-ers!


I was told there'd be cake** by Sloan Crosley** is terrible and completely, heniously unfunny. Try less harder next time. (**or whatever it's called and whatever her name is).

I am completely addicted to the library. So much so I almost fled a Barnes and Noble Christmas shopping excursion for my local library just to feel the comfort of never having to buy mediocre books again!

I am playing the Zelda game for DS and it's awesome! I was always a big Zelda fan. Thanks Hubby, you were spot on.

I wish the girl that is supposed to work for us would either quit or come in so we can fire her because I have my own work I need to be doing.

Mount Magazine plans are finalizing! Hike trails in 50 degree weather: check (it's 30 degrees and "raining" here now). Little bottle of Coppola's Sofia sparkling white wine: check. Shrimp ring: FAIL CHECK. King suite with a fireplace: check check check!

I bought the most wicked pretty party dress for Spencer's party on Saturday. yes yes yes!!! I must thank Piper for all her help braving the awful cold and traffic to go shopping with me a few nights before Christmas.

I wish you and all of yours a very peaceful, happy Holiday season!

Monday, December 22, 2008

Rocking around the Christmas Tree

This weekend with all the family. Big cousins. Little cousins. A little drink me. A little eat me. Everything feels like it's getting back to normal. My husband is most amazing and I'm more in love with him now than ever. Seeing those little girls and Henry popping up in a new place everyday. Gallons of coffee. Dance party to the funk station. Our ghetto cedar Christmas tree. Breakfast buffet. Trading iphones around. Grilled cheese sandwiches. A Gingerbread house. Alice in Wonderland, Aristocats, and Fox and the Hound. Christmas scene puzzle and Name That Tune. I have the most bad-ass family out there. Who know goofing off could be so much fun?

Friday, December 19, 2008

reigning blood

Barrett, remember when we did that final project for Gender Studies that involved me and a bunch of girls watching a bunch of anime (vagina dentata for shure!). Well, can't touch this:

Samurai Zombie brizzitches!!!!

Do I Do

I am really glad to be getting out of town this weekend. It's sadly but I just hate it when I am in a good mood (of yet a current fragile state) and run into your best friend's sister talking about you coming into town and how we should all get together. And wouldn't that be fun. Wouldn't that be old times. Except I don't like you, your best friend's wife and she doesn't like me. Ummm...I would love to live in that existence but it ain't happening! What fun we could all have! Pass the brandy f-ers!

And for my luck, where we're going, I'm out of cell phone range. So kindly person, there's no way you can shake up my Christmas much like you can shake up all the other seasons of my life. I tried so hard to be your friend and you would have none of it. Audi 5000 G. Sorry.

We finally got to pick up Jake's book (and yes I'm calling it his book because it's more his than anyone else's!) and you should too because his zombie (swoon) story is the best ever. And Judy Blume thinks so too. And so does everyone else in the world who's read it. I'm very proud of little brother. He goes so far.

If there really were a way I could see him this holiday. It would negate all the rest.

My dreams are so vivid and lush. These klonopin nights are really helping my overall.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

don't blame it on the sunshine, don't blame it on the moonlight

Crystal Bridges was linked on PostSecret today. I guess the PostSecret traveling show will be there. Weird! and Wonderful!

mmmm mmmm, I have a secret. I miss the hell out of you.

I finally got a cool phone! No it's not an iphone but it's free, purple, has a camera, and plays mp3s! I've already loaded it up with a bunch of funk and soul. My ringtone rings true!!


We just got the first one on Netflix last night. I am highly anticipating watching it after finishing Christmas shopping at the book store, picking up Chinese noodles, packing our bags for the weekend and finally sitting down.

You better knock, knock, knock, knock on wood.


I've got to get some piano practice squeezed in. I have been randomly working on the bridge to "She's Your Cocaine" just bc it's pretty and seems fairly easy. And it is but it came to me the other day where my rhythm was off (sometimes I just can't stomp it out) and I'm excited to get back to it.

I need a metronome. Photochrome!?

it's live it's live all the way live

We have two big winter parties coming up that I am going to be 9'd up for. Spencer's 30th birthday party at the downtown library and the Cave's New Year's Eve and 20th wedding anniversary party. Both of these parties are going to be big fun and I want to look the part.

Here are some online ideas:

Ab Fab green vintage.

Which would look lovely with the topaz and gold necklace Hubs gave me for Christmas!!

I like the color here.

This is pretty but God I'd have to avoid the red winos.

Super cute but same story as above.

BAMMO! Found it!

God I thought I was going to drown in party dress mediocrity. What's happened to us ladies?! Do we not demand more?!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Stop Pop and Roll

This is completely summing up my whole day, passive style!

I gazed a gazely stare // We walked a million hills -- I must have died alone

Husband, meet your dinner!

Floured and fried (lightly, almost tempura style) with some kind of zucchini and squash cooked up on the side. Probably oven grilled. Yummm. And that's only bc I forgot to thaw anything else! Whoops!

I'm so glad that the Walsh family has some closure. Hubs and I were talking about how shudderingly awful it is to walk by all those fliers for missing children like at the entrance hallways of Wal-Mart.

Are those kids ever found?

A long long time ago.

I'll always be the king of pain

I'm reading Cormac McCarthy's Outer Dark and The Police's King of Pain keeps coming on the radio. Yeah, it's that kind of day.


This is my kind of doll. Sadly it's neigh appropriate for any of the little girls in my family. And speaking of! We get to go to the farm to meet up with my cousins and their little ones this weekend!! I'm so excited to see them. We're going to let them pick out their little Christmas tree and decorate it and make a gingerbread house!! I'm so stoked!

Coffee time! I'm drinking my lunch today. But relax. It's just black.

I need lots and lots of books to round out my holiday shopping. And Chinese noodles. That should do me!

And a partridge in a pear tree

For those who don't yet understand themselves, Su-Lauren, it's impossible that they might understand you.


I understand you,
The Universe

Thanks Universe. I needed that little pat on the head.

Yesterday was a snow day. There's nothing like staying up too late with Husband to watch Escape from New York and Shrooms which is the all time most badically terrible horror movie ever. You really should check it out.

And then in the morning, everything is totally iced in and we started the morning with a fire and coffee and I beat Husband at Risk!!! and naps and CSI and it was a very good day.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Take oasis

What a good start today. Warm good coffee. We Walk on REM Pandora radio. High of 33. PCP referral appointment. Very good chance of being iced out of work tomorrow (we're all preparing for it!!!). And now it turns out you don't have to be an engineer to make the big cheese!

Husband, I drew a line, I drew a line for you. Walking down the street.

Did you see this? LIKE A CAT'S SHADOW!

Ha Spoke too soon! We're being audited, as I speak! HOLY FRIJOLES!

Friday, December 12, 2008

Still thinking about not thinking about

3 o'clock. Ahh. When I can say, "Ha HA! It's 3 o'clock!" Meaning on Fridays at 3 I can say goodbye to the little children and senior citizens I work for and have come to love and get my nose in some numbers. Work week financial analyzing. And I actually like it. Couldn't pass math to save my life, but aha! this isn't math dear friends. This is numbers!

SamRex, last night in my dream, I was you, and you were rocking out some bad-ass Tom Petty. I just remembered that. I just redecorated my gmail to ice cream cones!

Oh irony. You fucking kill me. Basil dear, I saw your painting. 300 Beds is it?

Anyway like I said, I found my gmail account again. Come back to me across the Universe (I heard the news today, oh boy) and I found some bits that make me smile:

The Distinction of the Seasons

April, March, May, then August— the women
months become confused; it is why time is essential,
but what of July?, what of June?

What does it mean, the counting of parts,
down to our knees, you don’t know mine.
Fingers, toes. Our craft is in passing
the calender days one at a time.

And then, brush brusque, Autumn enters—
as man; pushing us down, we pull dimes from the piles.
Composted leaves— fingers quickly through them.
The soil, the air, cold coins in our palms.

Then today was the day that we broke in the Fall.
Lock pickers and scavengers of the seasons, we are
women, honed this craft with our bobby pins and credit cards.
The leaves blend with grocery lists, dried Bible pages,
pods of seeds. Enter into the whole, what gender then
the Winter, even still, the Spring?

And yet, known.

I have my warm wrapped, thick woman legs
to walk me and move me through Winter’s cold winds,
but as Winter knows, people are not islands—
And he moves in, and he moves in,
like with warm washing waves,
lapping at skin, he moves in

(A practice in rhythm, one of my all time favorite exercises, not to any matter the result).

Wedding Poem

The making of our name, as we made it.

Printed it up on stock card invitations. A marriage, union of names. Gave up were not my words.

The bridesmaids were all giddy drunk.

After an hour, the best man was nowhere to be found.

The way I thought about it. The way it was planned. Begin with the letter A, but not her, my defiant bride. An idea stolen from a poem she’d read written by a child, accidentally found.

The flower girl was found squatting, mulberries smashed on her dress and face. Are mulberries poisonous, we asked ourselves and I ran from her screaming outstretched arms.

White dress waving. Gave up were not my words.

(For a friend. She was thinking about getting married. I jotted this down on a napkin and gave it to her. She thankfully changed her mind, for then.)

Ahh the things I don't have the desire for anymore...

It never hurt for so long

Here comes your man: Daddy would you like some sausage?

Please please please. I've been a good girl baby. Just sign your X on the line.

God look at this hot tranny mess!

I think I shall put on my best heels and go with the Husband out tonight. And watch me. I may do it again tomorrow! I don't feel like there's enough dressing up in my age group anymore. Like everyone's just adjusted to life in sweat pants. (Ahem) THAT'S AWFUL! DRESS UP! We'll be old and dead before you know it. And then no more skinny satin pants and dresses and heels. It'll be sweat pants sweat pants sweat pants. And that's just not good enough. We're all better than that!!!!



everybody say cheese!

OOH that necklace. I so need that necklace. And a little pocket Rhianna to sing that Beyonce song "Let me let me upgrade you," because while I love that little song (makes me giggle) I don't like Beyonce. I mean I like her fine in that way that I don't care, but haven't we gotten enough of her? Except that new song.

"Let me let me upgrade ya." Sung like a mouthful of mud. Just my style.

We are reasons so unreal

Smash Shack Love Shack? Genius!!! Let's book a Friday night and hit it up!

What fun times.

Did you know Satan is a Libra??? I've always had an enjoyment in reading about angels, the archangel Gabriel, Michael. Well do a tiny bit of digging/typing and there you have it. You fall on October 11th and land in a blackberry bush?? Is that why they're so succulent?

For the last several years we've celebrated my birthday (a little early but still) on Beltane (but I've yet a maypole) and I've always wanted to have a correlating Samhain party but it's usually Halloween and people want more of a costume party than a pagan party. But I had no idea that Samhain was also associated with this fall of Lucifer, Satan, Beelzebub, whatever you want to call it. And I think that's fascinating seeing how the rising medieval Catholic church and tithing and indulgences practically created this idea of a monster that previously people had been worshipping/respecting in their own fearful ways. It gave a face to why we're afraid of the dark. It gave the dark more meaning.

And then it evolves. The origin story dissipates for hundreds of years and through the Inquisition we start finding these stories of the Saints and purity and piety and, even more importantly, the creation of this beautiful fascinating horror show: the devil. These myths surround us even after Martin Luther and Nietzsche and Vatican I and II. After Jerry Springer and Ofrah and Baptist preachers wearing Rolexes. The devil made me do it.

I would love to go back in time. To that first Fall season. To hear the foxes barking and the colors changing. Blackberry bushes grow wild in abundance in Arkansas. They will actually thrive when left to their own devices. Left wild. There are some things can't be tamed. And they're great hiding places for children who can slip under their low brambles. Who don't mind scratched backs for the best hiding spot. All manner of creatures burrow under bramble bushes. There's safety in thorns sometimes.

Hollywood Swinging

I have come to put myself in her chains. Betty Page, you'll be missed.

Look at those curves!!!

Tomorrow is me and Ambler shopping day. She's got nursery stuff to buy and I have Christmas and junk shopping to look for. I'm ready to get into that cheesy Christmas spirit. I love buying all my stuff early to avoid the crowds but then I love getting a coffee and completely immersing in the crowds. People watching. Stocking buying. I haven't been so inspired this year though. It's hard to buy for my and Husband's family because they are each so unique that I really want to get them the right gift. And that takes time and thinking and looking and honestly, I've been less than inspired lately.

But I'm working on it. So you know, ho ho ho. The benefits are tri-fold.


Thursday, December 11, 2008

Swing down, sweet chariot // Stop and let me ride

Also this is more for Hubs, but I have to share it with the world. The part where the monkey unfurls from the basketball is tv legend!!!

Just wait for it. It's totally worth it!

Parliament's Mothership Connection (Starship) also puts me in a similar mood but only because I can imagine the same monkey and I floating through time. and space. Let's go see what's out there. Incarnation.

You must pay the Troll Toll

I miss Jake. Here's how I miss thee. Let me count the ways into your Boy's hole:

I heart Danny DeVito. He makes my sunshine on a cloudy day. Like today!

We play Risk at my house. Like madmen. Risk Risk Risk. There's a lot of rules in Risk btw.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

superstition in the way

So my moma gets on ebay and starts buying rugs. And wow! She just gave us one. Persian. Iranian to be exact. Adana, or Tree of Life pattern, the direct route between Earth and Heaven. It's ab-fab. Completely. Best part. On ebay it cost her under $17. Cost twice that to ship. It's semi-antique, meaning 30-40 years old. Deliciously worn. Looks amazing in our sitting room.

Um, more please!

Here's a basic, but interesting link for Persian patterns.

Here's Hubs Christmas present, care of Mr Sam King. It's completely badical. Husband loves it and it looks amazing on our wall. Hey, get your own!

Balmy days

Lots of things don't make sense at first, Su-Lauren, when only the physical senses are used.

What does your heart say?

The Universe

I love how my Universe says "Boom." That is totally what my Universe would say! Squee! Get your Notes from the Universe here!

My heart says I wish my grumpy, passive agressive coworker would get over it. It's bonus day today at work! Yippee!

Monday, December 8, 2008

I decided

You know how sometimes you really think you have it? When I was in college, I took a bunch of writing classes with this group of (mostly) guys. They were like, you know, and we would meet for a long time even after I had graduated, moved home, moved again, moved back. We were very much on the same wavelength. And it was very comforting. Plus there was a lot of trust there. Deep trust. And metal music. It was good.

So I wrote this one thing. A long time ago. And I felt it pretty good, as in, I was pretty happy with it. And this one guy Walt, who I just adored for all the wrong reasons, we would sit up late and talk about it at his friend's kitchen table or sitting on the trunk of his giant white jalopy. I never felt like I could ever hold on to this one (and in losing all the contact info for my old gmail account, I almost did) but it won me an award, and helped start the bitterness, and coming back around to it, I feel like I have to claim it again. 'Cause sure enough, no one else will. Walt told me it was my entrance, my gateway in-kind. I didn't see it then.

Daniel Tenkiller, this bud's for you:

Moon Pulling

The moon’s distance ellipsed--
satellite so near and barely visible pulling
rhythms of life never braided among
the universal order, silver flecked
with spacedust and comet clutter.
A God wiser, more accepting--

would have made stone satellites revolve
at their own speeds in time, capable
to raise tides and fall on planets, each
a star collective burning, messengers
between confrontations, that frustrated
That is not what I meant at all;
bestowed each their bowstrings

and rotations; could have plucked
down the cosmos, made smaller space
to accommodate the pressure
after a burnout, in becoming dense,
when one is incapable of grasping
the solid ground situation.

More bounce to the ounce

Party was wonderful. Will post pics later. Feel like a cold is coming on, seriously, sinus pressure city. So not much to report although when I had to run to the P.O. and get coffee, this was on NPR's Talk of the Nation and it was very enlightening. I, personally, have nothing to say about the Holocaust, Judaism, or where any one person or any group should pick up and move on (there was an African-American caller talking about slavery in the same terms) because personally I've only ever encountered stigmas about my sex (thankfully) but never about my race (it is just as unfair, but it is easier to get past) because there's not much left to say about whitey (that's me) that hasn't already been said.

But anyway, I think it's always really beneficial to a people or to a person to move on from the past so I was especially interested in the topic.

One thing we'll never move past: nasty girls. While getting ready on Friday night to go out with my out of town ladies, the topic of some real bad nasties came up. This may or may have not been said: She's probably just really angry from all the gremlins hiding in her acne scars. I mean, wouldn't you be mad at the world in that case?

Truer words. Truer words. Punch her in the face for me.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Ooh let's get this show on the road

I told you! Henry and the pretty pretty gardens.

I must thank the Lady Holobowitz-Darnell for reminding me of Passive Agressive Notes. This is truly my favorite. And this one because I have had more awful dirty dish leaving roommates than I can count. I'm glad you don't necessarily have to be friends with your roommate. I've found that not being friends works the best.

Best roommate ever: Brenticus (I still have refrigerator baseball) and Jake (coming home late, drunk, to you playing samurai swords was just such a treasure). And Chrissy in college always takes the cake. And Sundays "living" at Piper and Liz's house. All the rest, sorry, we shouldn't have lived together. Ever.

In the morning, you go gunning

Hey girl,

Yeah, remember me? We never got along and boy, for a while there, didn't I sure bust my ass trying. Remember me? I wasn't trying to impress anybody except that one guy I really liked so I joined your little club. And I loved everything about it, except for you. Really changed the way I saw my future. Until you did everything you could to make me miserable there. Told the boy to break up with me (my guess was always you liked him too), told people not to like me, told people lots and lots of lies about things I never did, but never told them about the things I actually did do. I tried to get along with you until I saw that you would never try. So then I just let myself have fun in not liking you. I didn't have to work too hard. No one else I knew liked you either.

Remember me? So now you're applying for a job and my best friend is the liaison. He barely remembers you. But he doesn't care because you know what? He asked me my opinion of you. And I told him all about those nasty little things you used to do. All with the knowledge and saying that, Well, she's probably changed. That was a long time ago. But you asked me what I thought of her and she never ever gave me any other examples.

It's really too bad too. You probably won't get that job and from the looks of you having to move back home, back cross country to get it, sounds like you probably really need it. And if you're using credentials from 12 years back to get it, it sounds like you really are desperate. So nasty girl, here's to you. I am not going to lie and say I hope you get the job. But I'm also not going to lie and say that I care if you do.

Because you know what? The ex-boyfriend is a lewd loser. I am very well and happily employed where I want to be. Those people you told stories on me to are some of my really good friends now. You saved me years of heartache and trouble. I'm very glad you hated me that much. All is to say, we could have been nasty girls together, but as it is, I'm not your bitch. Don't lay your shit on me.

You and I, feet to feet

2nd Annual Wilson Holiday Throwdown is tomorrow! Don't forget to bring your spare change for the Unicef collection!

Here's some Unicef statistics that I think are incredibly helpful as far as understanding just how well we have it made:

- 33,000 children die each day?

- One out of every three children is affected by malnutrition?

- Vitamin A deficiency leads to 500,000 cases of child blindness each year?

- In countries where women and girls do not have the right to an education and in which women are kept in servitude, child malnutrition rates and infant mortality rates are among the highest in the world?

Here's how you can help:

- Two cents can buy one iron tablet supplement.

- Six cents will buy three vitamin A capsules to protect a child against blindness and other health risks from vitamin A deficiency for one year.

- 21 cents can buy nasal tube for feeding a seriously malnourished child.

- One dollar can buy a year's supply of zinc supplements (which lessen malaria incidences) for one child.

- Also it can buy one pound of pea seeds or three packets of lettuce seeds for a school or community vegetable garden.

- $1.34 will buy a box of 144 sticks of dustless chalk.

- $1.86 will buy basic education supplies for one student.

- $4.37 will buy one blanket.

- $10 can buy 60 baby fish to stock a pond for a potential protein supply for a rural village.

So bring your spare change tomorrow. We're making a difference gosh-darnit! Or we can just send them some Boo Boo to the Rescue and tell them it'll all be alright.


Rick James is a genius. You and I being the classic example. He takes a very motown-disco melody premise and completely puts the nasty on it. Singing about 69 and feet on feet. The beast with two backs. Oh Iago, if only.

PS Rick James ain't got nothing on my jambalaya stuffed mushrooms. 4lbs of stuffed mushrooms? Don't mind if I do!

Husband your Christmas present is coming down for the party. It's really really frigging cool!!!

Thursday, December 4, 2008

I have no idea where this is from, but I stole it from Lameliar's sister. I think it is where Lameliar works. I think it be of Austin, the Texas variety.

Anyway, it's amazing. As you know, I have a slightly unhealthy obsession with octopi and all things squidly-like. Jellyfish, you're alright in my book!

I totally love it when people pass the buck. What's that stupid comic strip with the "Not Me!" kid. Family Circus. Oops, forgot. I'm supposed to love all children. I'll tell you a secret though. I don't. Sorry.

Time for lots more coffee. Sister-in-law-to-be's graduation party. Cold weather. More coffee. Sleep times.

Me, I want a Hoo-la Hoop!

Awww I want a little Linus of my own!

I hated Charlie Brown when I was little but he definitely holds a tender spot in my heart as I'm an adult.


Totally this is the best:

...and then we take it higher

2 min mark : BLAMMO!

Eddie is the king of bullshittery! That is the smoothest move I've ever seen.

And because you probably have no idea who Eddie Grant is:

Electric Boogaloo!

You people should be paying me for all this eye-pleasure.

Is she hiding in a hot dog?

Got a pig hiding in a truffle. (thanks T. Amos)

And no one had a problem with the kid Ace Ventura? Who do I look like? Mrs. Jesus?

Oh sweet Hay-sus! Tax Time Mother F-ers!

Don't ask me why but I love tax season. I love reading up on tax strategy. I love maneuvering through the system. It's like my fantasy football, tax stra-tegery. It was actually a perk in my current job description, handling all things tax related. After owning my own business, running another's books and secrets, and finally running a third's finances (see the difference from when you're promoted from bookie/bookkeeper to CFO), I've collected a few tricks up my sleeves, a major one being able to read fine print. God, fine print is everywhere and it's already putting me in reading glasses, but the things you can catch. Getting screwed is the American way!

So I subscribe to all these money sites's emails and I think that Fidelity one up top is a good basic starter because I have a lot of friends who are teachers, trying to eco-improve their homes (won't my tank water heater just die already?!!), make over $50K a year combined, and I think it's good and responsible for us to start thinking in these terms. But if not, that's okay too. It's your checkbook. Just make sure in some way it is linked to a ROTH IRA. Those things are like two tickets to paradise.

Pack your bags! We leave tonight! (thanks E. Money)

Moma and I started baking and cooking for the party last night. Candies and sweet potatoes for the tartlets and my organic carrot cake cupcakes. Keep your fingers crossed for these. They may become food for worms. Most of them turned out great. Firm. Carrot-y. Spicy (I LOVE Allspice). Some turned out softer than I would have liked. Some came out completely raw! AWESOME! So those went back in the oven. I don't know how re-baking baked goods works but damnit, I can say I tried. I don't know that they won't become big soggy piles of goo by party time but then we'll just make a game out of it. Set a target up at the fencerow. People love games at parties, right?

I made a lot of mistakes. I.made.a.lot.of.mistakes. Imadealotofmistakes. (thanks Sufjan)

What I think I need is another oven and a little Elf helper. Then I could get all this cooking done the day before. Presto! No problems. Oh and so my baby girls have named their elf on a shelf. HENRY! His name is Henry! I am so in love with those little girls. They make it so easy.

Looking like a trainwreck. Wearing too much makeup. You'll never make your mind up. (thanks Jayhawks)

Someone get that donut off my desk, ASAP.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Theologians don't know nothing

Boo Boo Rescue?

This is why kids are wimps these days.

Itchy Boo Boo Cream? Magic Splinter Remover? Sympathy and Appreciate stickers? Come on. Get with it. Kids know about cancer and AIDS and single moms and food stamps. I think they can probably handle getting a scratch, or, if you were like me as a kid, having your shins completely come off while attempting some lame-ass skate trick my brother talked me into. And I didn't get no "Sympathy Stickers". I cried getting shots. Kids cry. It's why you have them, right? Boo Boo cream. Sheesh. Just another way to sucker people into spending 4x what the stuff should cost them.

Most importantly though, the company is called Classy Kid. Aww yea!

anybody wanna take me home?

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

I stole this from Boyd. It's awesome!

I've been to Hollywood, I've been to Redwood

But here it is, heart of gold:

Only look at this for the pickle scene at 2:26. Those pickles look nasty!

Here's Patton's take. Oh Patton, you are such a cutie pie. I was glad to see you in the Reno:911 movie bc you are so dang cute! His language is NSFW but anyhow, I'd take you home to moma.

We are not two, we are one

Here you go, per special request:

How in the world could they NOT get Andy Milonakis to play this role? Casting GENIUS!

Okay so granted, it's no Blood Freak Man-Turkey (Murkey), but I have to think it's just as good.

The mail's already run. Technically that means I don't have to do any more work. Commence internet plunging and pillaging! I will steal all your videos!

I'll probably feel a whole lot better when you're gone

Things of lately:

-Lovell's back, love of my afterlife, little bit of darkness in my soul. How I have missed you. Me, you, after work phone calls to meet up on Dickson. Me in my fluffy alpaca hat. You in ink splatter and greased hair. I was so glad Husband liked you bc you made my life incredibly bright! Sitting at the hard wood bar, gossiping like old women. You picking ladies out. Me picking ladies out. Masons. Pirates. Asphalt. Boys who would be men. Kids who would be kings. I have missed you so my man. Glad you're back in pocket.

-It's been killing me not to Christmas shop so far this year. But I understand what an economic, ahem, downturn, will do to you.

-I don't want Piper to move. I'm glad Ambler's home.

-Tom Petty. Lots of Tom Petty. Golden Smog. Loose Fur (Jucifer?). Wilco's AM. dancing dancing dancing in my mind. One of these days I'll head back west, Husband in tow this time, and we'll dance in the big New Mexican desert like all those times before. Count the Pleiades. Call the Shekina in. Top down. Arms open. Area 51. Just the two of us.

-Did anyone see the Winter Solstice the other night? God's fingernail sliver moon with Jupiter twinkling (bc it's gaseous, see) and Venus above. A perfect triangle. My dad called us, told us to head outside. Me and Husband and the Universe seemingly so close one could reach out and grab it. I felt like touching it. If only I could reach a little further. But good conscience tells me not too. That all things out of reach are put there for good measure. Turn the handles on the pots on the stove. Good childrens' fingers reach fast and mightily.

-Tim Gunn's Guide to Style is quickly rubbing off on Hubs. Damn is he fine lately.

You were so brutally cast as the malcontent.

Would you like me more if I were a man?

Because I really hate emo kids:

My emo band's name is Girlfriend Swinging Application.
Take The Emo Band Name Generator today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

Girlfriend Swinging Application and I kinda like it!

Multiple small pumpkins spray painted red to look like Christmas balls: Check!

Clipping 4 tons of magnolia leaves (with permission) from a friend's yard while totally not looking like I have permission: Check!

Hanging giant vintage neon paper snowflakes Piper made me: Check!

Having moma come down to help me cook heaping mounds of Jambalaya stuffed mushrooms, Christmas bark, coconut balls (dipped in chocolate and sea salt no less-- does anyone get this reference???), sweet potato tartlets, cucumber feta cheese chive things, 800 different dips, and a bunch of other food: Starting tonight!

Who wants to make my gingerbread house all nice and cozy?

I always did like the name Hansel.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

This ole town is a sad affair

YEOW! Tom Petty is awesome!

YEOW! That apple was sour!

YEOW! I should'a never beat Brenticus twice in a row. He's a now kickin' my scrabble arse!

There's gonna be some of my friends exes at our Christmas party, I'm just now recognizing. Whoops! Orwell. Time everyone grew up or something anyway, right? Pass Ed's Egg Noggy Nog! That'll make it all better. Still, I am glad lots of people are coming!

I just want to be a firecracker! Maybe be your baby tonight!

I get off at 3 today. Let's go dancing!

Anyway, we finished Bioshock last night. Kinda ended on a weak note. I was disappointed. Planned to buy Christmas presents. Realized for sanity's sake, we should just save that for next week. Barrett Bowlin, this bud's for you, bud:

(SFW but you may want to turn the volume down a hair-- that lady screams awful loud).

Monday, December 1, 2008

you were the last high

Love myself better than you


I don't even know why I'm loading up my book queue. It's not like I have any time to do anything but work and day dream about cute boys I'll never meet. Oh yeah, and drink my water. Drink lots and lots of water. And work on my first star chart. That shiz is tough! And have lots of headaches. All the time. And drink White Russians. Yes. Mmmmm...

In cars.

I can't think of this song without thinking of Tom Servo and Crow (and only because I can't remember who is always the one singing the line- so apparently it's time I watched more MST3000):

(I really like this because of how Joel's head keeps bobbing up and down)

So cute!

Fluffy, Furry Buddy

Why'd you do it Fluffy? On the porch. --One of my fav all time Ween songs.

This is what farming really looks like! 3 big yellow dogs, 2 little black dogs, pitchforks, John Deere Gator, yard work, iphone camera phones, crazy hair, cold as hellz mornings. I love going to the farm. Thanksgiving : PASS!

2nd Annual Wilson Holiday Throwdown : FAIL! haha just kidding

So ready for the rest of the month to quiet down after that. BUT FIRST Party Down!

Posting will be rather sporadic this week as I am insanely busy. Why don't you use that time to go through my archives?!