Wednesday, March 31, 2010

I want candy!

Sweet Berry Wine!

At least they are cute!

For your health!

Orgies are no fun when nobody wants to do with you.


Tuesday, March 30, 2010

funny how time flies

Warning: The post I'm about to post is very Barf-tastic. HORF-riffic. Gross in every way possible. But it's not about me so fair warning.

I work in medical supplies. I do alot of things at my job. Mostly to do with money. But also to do with medical supplies. Because of this I can get very high-horsey RE: #HCR. But I won't today.

I have always had a strong stomach. Been fascinated by 100lb tumors and conjoined twins. Blood and guts do not scare me. In fact, they fascinate me. My own mortality I guess. Doesn't it always come back to my own mortality.

Anyway because of said strong stomach, I handle one of the positions no one else wants to (we are a family owned, my family owned, small, 7 employee business- it just works out that way): ostomy.

Ostomy is when part or all of your large bowel/small bowel/bladder/vagina and or uterine wall/abdominal cavity have been removed. Usually due to organ transplant or cancer. Sometimes it's permanent. Sometimes it's not.

Anyway at work my customers call me the ostomy lady. For the most part, we all get along. I was fanatical about my colon health before landing this position and you can believe that after hearing people talk poop in a bag all day long, you can eat dinner off my colon, it's so pristine.

Not much "gets me." Never really has. Oh yeah, have I mentioned I'm a meat eater? Love meat. Meatatarian is more like it. Meat meat meat (but rarely potatoes and always lots and lots of veggies).

So today I get a new ostomy customer. He's been in prison and so his medical care has been basic at best. He doesn't know what he needs, only what he's always been given. Ugh. This makes it hard. And he doesn't communicate very well, and I'm trying, but I'm slowly getting frustrated. (I mean you hear all the euphemisms for shit and see how long it takes you.)

So I'm trying to ask him about his stoma size. The stoma is the part of the intestine/whatever that sticks out of your body to reroute your waste. It looks like what you would imagine it would look like. A pink part of intestine on the outside. It's small. Not that intrusive.

He doesn't get it. He doesn't get it. He doesn't get it. "Oh," he says, "you mean the piece of meat."

"Excuse me?"


Holding back vomit, I almost have to put him on hold. Cold sweat brace myself later I say yes yes the stoma that's it ok moving on blah blah get off the phone as quickly as possible. Oh my God. I had to step outside. I had to flee the scene.

I'm a little better now but queasy. Maybe I'm not, ugh vom. I just have to quit talking about it. God. Help.

So that's been my day so far. Yours?

Monday, March 22, 2010

Monday, March 15, 2010

of verjanas and pennis-es

Last week was one of the best weeks of my life. And this video here just sums it up:

Thursday, March 11, 2010

the kind you don't take home to mother

Daily Geek Links, because I'm lazy but you need to see this stuff!

MST3K Haiku!

X-Ray Spex!


Wednesday, March 10, 2010

the significance of the pickle

Well after all the mania lately, I feel like coming down. Now can I? That's the real question.

Anyway hoping music will help. B- these are some folkies and songs I found that I like. Please do tell:

Ok so the Arlo is just more for fun.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Join in. Start a Love Train!

Ewww Antartica is creepy and gory in a way I never knew I'd love!

Words Here.

Image Here.

and we will live together, until the 12th of never

College Humor just keeps topping themselves with these imaginary accounts. Here's the latest Twitter accounts. The Scotty Pippen one had me laughing out loud, uncontrollably at work.

I am really ready for the weekend! Lady times, here I come!

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Go Dad Go!!

My Dad is running for State Rep (Arkansas) and I couldn't be more proud!!!

A man for the people, not his pockets!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Monday, March 1, 2010

always I want to be with you and be in harmony harmony always!

This is for you, every one of you!

Robot Unicorn!

The music is the best part. And safe for work, on your official lunch break that is.

-------------------- games really are the best.

Pole Dance Hero?

Cream Wolf?

My Lil' Bastard?

Need I go on?

I want to be the girl with the most cake

I find this very funny. Party Bus! Woot woot!

Also for a little Courtney Love-ness, visit I drooooool for those flapper/Stevie Nicks' style headbands!