drizzle for rizzle my nizzle

I love this kind of rain. Stand out in your yard and garden and get wet feet with your lover rain. Footprints all over the just cleaned floors and you hold on to each other, soft cheeked and sleepy eyed, rain.

I love working summer hours my last few days here!! woo! We're supposed to get a contract on our house tonight, and I only say that even though nothing's been promised, we're ready. And are we. We're ready, it's the right time, I've blown my nose out on my sacred alchemy potion (maybe they'll let me keep that after I leave), and it's just right.

It's right because of all the wonderful events that have happened to me there've been enough too that I want to forget. I've been saying goodbye to a lot of people in my sleep, in my dreams. Hubs says I'm back to grinding my teeth which doesn't surprise me bc as much as I need to let some people go, I don't want to. It's hard to think how good it was, how much fun we had, shenanigans and such. But I also just don't have the energy to care anymore. And hasn't that always been (what people tell me) wherein my problem lies. I care too much and it hurts too much when people don't care as much back. Which, you know, is fine. Really. I've had a good run here but I need a new row to hoe. So sorry if I don't write you back, tell you how beautiful your children are, how happy I am that you're engaged/recently married/finally divorced/rehabbed/reshaped/reborn. It's not that I don't care. I just don't really care. Anymore. Sorry. I wish people all the happiness in the world, but if I'm not talking to you now, chances are pretty good that I won't be ever again.

It makes me look really forward to those who are coming back that I am talking to. Those are the stories I'm most interested in hearing now.

icky thump

Hubs got the new White Stripes in. And thus I've been listening to alot of white stripes lately. Heretofor I don't know. i just wanted to say heretofor. That is a real word, right?

Next week is me and Keely suntan time! woo!! I am going to lay under the sun, read, and hopefully have our house sold!!!

I'm showing it again (2 days ina row) to the same nice young couple. They're bringing their mom this time. woo! Go house for sale!! It's been frustrating because all I can think of is getting in our new house!

It's amazing, if things go right in our lives (Allah be praised) our new house will be the house we start a family in. Start having kids come around and stuff. Getting old with porch friends and kind. I'm really excited. It's hard not to let my clock tick me on over to adoption websites. Maybe we'll try to have our own baby. I go back and forth all the time and that's all without having been checked out. And I don't even like kids. Where's the push? I understand now when they say it comes from within. Kids. What little fuckers.

Did you hear about that kid in New Zealand who's parents wanted to name him 4real bc when they saw the ultrasound of the baby it finally hit them how real it was. Yeah, 4real. Free My Boo. Word.

Chris's 10 year reunion next weekend!! Woo! We'll be partying it up 1997 style! (I guess).

wu I slam I am coming and scream at you like Tarzan

Ah Wu Tang Clan. I need to repurchase 36 Chambers of Death or whatever that glorious album was called.

FURDGE! Best day is turning into worst day. That fucking albatross Spark is once again coming to bite me in the ass chapter millionth! I might be getting sued over some bs insurance workman's comp deal. MotherF'ers!! I have paid my dues in money, so much money, and tears and Jesus I KNOW now that my idea wasn't meant to be for Fuck's Sake! Leave me be. I would still do it for someone else though. I would still do a lot of things involved. And it was so good in the beginning and it kills me how it died.

Fuck this. I am NOT going to cry over this shit anymore and esp. not at work. Assholes.

You wasted life why wouldn't you waste the afterlife

That Modest Mouse cd is my house cleaning cd. A lot easier to clean house to than their other stuff. Get it done!

So another house on our street went up FSBO damnit. Making it hard on a family! We had some good nibbles. I just please please please let it be that easy. Violins and ivy vines and such.

My neck is frozen again. Good thing hubs bought (me) a Nintendo DS last night!! Woo!!! It's white (I wanted pink but then again it's not really mine) and we got the Brain Game and Animal Crossing. I'm completely, in 5 hours time, addicted to both. From the way I completely stole it, he'll maybe get me my own. A pink one for sure!! And then I'll have to buy him the surgery game, which I am totally cool with.

Going to get the house inspected Saturday. Very excited. Our house open house pt 2 is Sunday. Not so excited but I can play DS after Hubs goes to work. exciting!! I'm never reading a book or watching tv again!!

Irish folktales scare the shit out of me

From here on out, I am always going to be putting my 2 weeks in. Makes life easy being a short-timer! woo!

We showed the house for the 1st time to actual people last night (our open house Sunday was a big, fat zero) and we think good things!! The universe has just got to open up to us on this one. I mean we've been putting so much damn good karma into the system. That big wheel should really be turning our way now. The good thing about it is, the karma we've been putting in has actually been favors and trinkets we've wanted to do, been cool with. Oh please Lord, Zeus, Sophia, Ydaobaol, Quetzlcoatl, whoever, I send this up to you man: take care of my and Hubs. Please.

Woke up at 5:30am this morning, couldn't turn my brain off. Conversations I feel like I should be having with people and I just can't. Or better, I shouldn't. Damn, why can't I let some sleeping dogs lie? When will it be enough? But anyway I guess the cure to sleeplessness: feed grumpy hungry cats; let dog out to romp; drink icy cold water; lay back in bed to have my hand held by sleeping husband. I mean damn. My life is near perfect.

I don't wanna live

without DISCO!! woooo pass the boogie nights and a margarita to boot! It's summer time!

boom upside yo head

We got it!! Thank you thank you thankyou thank you thank you. Even husband has become a positive person. thank you thank you thank you. This life of mine, I'll take it 100% for all of it forever. On or before July 31 we just have to sell, finish packing, and move. The world does seem a lot more clear. We are doing what we are supposed to be doing. And Ireland still and we'll eat tinned peaches, trousers rolled 'till we're old, I love you I love you I love you.

Said, "I just liked looking through the old you before me. Before us." ( ) "You looked like someone I would like to know."

There has never been a more complete match for me. That person is out there for everyone. Who will let you buy the house you want without really looking at it because of the way it makes you feel. Who will always be the one to get up and get something. Who thinks your gravy is better than any he's ever tasted in any restaurant. Who will kiss your feet and scratch your back. And tell you how proud he is of you. Who thinks your zombie JFK and Jackie costumes is the best idea ever and will let you pour sticky fake blood all over him until that assassinated look is just perfect. I hope everyone I know meets this person, finds that house, lives that life intended for them because it's a wonderful place to be.

OMG

please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please work out please please please please please

I believe in us

Still thinking on Sopranos finale. Wondering what hubs thought. Times are stiff and worrysome right now but only because we keep getting slapped with you owe a thousand here and you owe a thousand there. Hubs keeps reminding me that that's why we're thousandaires. haha.

But it's tiring work. But it's good work. I'm glad Chrissy is back from the Eastern bloc okay and had a good time. I'm glad we're still planning on going to Ireland although Lord knows we'll need that money, Lord will provide. I'm glad that friends are coming out of the woodwork and it all seems that we've all turned out fine enough with our scars and bruises in 10 years time.

I am so sleepy today. I hope it's a slow day. I hope that after these next 2 months, I never have to look at a can of tuna fish again.

I cook a mean eggplant parmigiana!! And that rules me!!

turns screws

My hair's growing back since I got happy with the thinning shears. I am NO LONGER going bald in the back. I'll leave that up to some of my duder friends. But my boobs have gotten huge lately. Go figure. Nature seeks balance.

LR on Fritag then back home Sat for ladies night then clean clean pack pack clean for Montag and etc.

My boss is wicked cool. We've been busting chops the last 3 weeks and she brought in a masseuse and wine for all of us. Invoicing whilst wine boozy is fun times.

I immensely enjoyed Robin's company last night.

Will somebody please tell me who lit the fuse for the Big Bang? Geez!

Call my name: we're gonna marry body and soul

Sometimes I wish song lyrics were more like how I want them to be and less like they actually are. Whatevs.

Husband asks why I don't write anymore. I burst out What about your trumpet? I garden--make things grow, when are we going to go to the beach, have a baby, our lives be settled in our new home with Puppery and Frenchie?

I don't know what makes me so defensive of it other than there are sometimes when close friends move and don't tell anyone, it won't stop raining and slugs take over, I choose not to listen to my old desires.

I've never been afraid of getting old but why am I in such a hurry? What will change of me if I become 30 faster or 40? My vial of sacred alchemy is full of Receiving Abundance. When will it be enough and who do I thank for it?

Looking forward to more summer music and tours and baseball. I actually want to go see baseball games now. What an influence a man makes. Sweet Communion.

Money and Alcohol: The True Life of a West Coast Playa

Crappy teeth grinding preventative measure DIY plastic tooth guard. I look and feel like a foot ball player in my sleep and I'm chomping down even harder than without the guard. At least hubs can sleep now without the sound of teeth on teeth action.

I've always had such perfect teeth too. This is really going to piss me off if I start having problems. This is why I need a beach damnit. Why won't anyone believe me?

Dream house...you cost too damn much. It's cool though, I ain't mad atcha.