Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

she crawls through your jealousy

This is terrible and awful and stupid and my throat hurts and I'm sad. But even if things were rosy, it would still be terrible awful and stupid.

Just like the girl who hasn't heard the Neiman Marcus cookie story isn't an email rumor, stupid stupid stupid.

ollie ollie come through

My grandmother passed away yesterday. My moma's mom. We've all been waiting for it for so long that it's leaving us all a bit star clustered to figure out what to do now. She's had severe Alzheimer's for years now and finally God let her pass thankfully in her sleep, at peace. My moma said she looked the best at rest as she had in the last 2 years.

I appreciate all the kind words.

My throat is sore.


We had an amazing time in New Orleans. All those who got a concert phone call, I hope you enjoyed it. I have a thousand pictures and lots to tell when things settle down in the personal family life.

Friday, October 24, 2008

flashlight neon light stoplight

Papa don't take no mess!

A few wonderful delightful things to get in the mood for VOODOO!

I need to make cakelets in the shape of acorns!!! I mean, duh! Who doesn't!??!

The Mortimer candle is awesome, but really I'm so feeling those bleeding tapers. I think I might need those for the 2nd Annual Wilson Christmas Extravaganza Holiday Party. We can make it murder themed.

I miss Bust magazine.
A nuclear bomb, set off in my chest.

Peace out F-ers, I'm off to see R.E.M.!!!!

Thursday, October 23, 2008

sweet sweet sweet he used to be so sweet to me

I love these guys.

I would be so cool as to own a Mac. I consider us a Mac family despite the fact that we are swimming in 3 PC laptops and a PC computer. Why you ask us? Dell is so damn enticing!!!

Hey Mish,

Why didn't we get a Mac at Spark? Or, like 12?

I need some time off from that emotion // Time to pick my heart up off the floor

Do you like? I've been in a Tangerine mood lately.

In honor of my dahling Rockstar, I'm sending you faith across a whole continent!!!


(Sorry I can't embed it. Isn't he the HOTTEST!??!)

There's a dark secret in me

In some ways I expected my code to be cracked and for someone else to do the hard work for it. I expected you to try. I expected you to leave. I had absolutely no expectations for myself, knowing, then, how unreliable I had become. So now, turned around, mirror facing backwards, I see that it wasn't really you I was pushing, pushing away. It was me.

This darkness, this warm embrace. I thought it was a partner at a dance. That I could use it to flirt with greater destiny. Now I see, it falls off me like smoke because I make it. It is me. Not just a drapery, but skin. Skin that I set in.

set me free

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

My name is Oskar and I like to dance!

La Lohan is wearing my necklace that stupid britch!

I totally staked claim here and now she's broken my heart.

Whatever. I need to feel better, ASAP!

Damn, I need to have a kid stat. Get me some daily Yo Gabba Gabba boo ya!

sadly boy, you were done before you started

I found a date through zombie harmony - one of the best free dating sites for zombies
Created by (Dating for non-zombies)

After my own heart!

Never again is what you swore the time before

Lurve these clothes, but really, how young IS that girl??!!

I need new pillows for the bed. Mine are making my neck want to separate my head.

I don't know what's in the water lately, but I've just been so antsy in my pantsy. I need to get out and run this off, burn it off, but all I've found I can do after work is drink wine it off. That ends last night!


I must, I must, I must increase my bust.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

time goes by so slowly for those who wait

Lord, preserve us
and protect us
we've been drinking
whiskey for breakfast


I procured this little psalm from my darling BFF lameliar. She is so inspiring. You should go to her Etsy page and buy up all her lovely little goodies!!

I had decided that I was going to knit everyone a(nother) scarf this year as I was getting back into my knitting. But my bamboo needles are all wonky and I need new ones and this yarn I was totes in love with is now all weird looking to me (think it was psychedelic amazing, now think psychedelic cheap looking). Boo!

So I've decided everyone is getting a dahlia watercolor for Christmas this year. They may arrive framed or unframed. They will totally look like a garage sale find. They will be all varying shades of red/pink/purple/nurple.


Cherry Coke Zero makes me want to live!!!!!


Also known as, so pervy, I love it!


Doesn't she look like JLo?

I got this at my bachelorette party. Thanks Liz! The memories are golden!

We accidentally went to a bar called Chaps in Chelsea. Had a blast!

Good to know the Lord has a sense of humor.

Don't touch me with your fairy dust!!!

Can't imagine why this is on sale? Who doesn't want to be a hipster witch?


Lost inside
Adorable illusion and I cannot hide
I'm the one you're using, please don't push me aside
We could've made it cruising, yeah

feeling radical in cotton

Man! Me wanty! This shot of her is totally unflattering but DANGOLA! Would I have looked smokin' hott in this dress last night at the cocktail party we didn't go to!

I know, us, turn down booze?!?! WHA???

In other news, Lord, I know I beg you for a smaller ass, but be satisfied in your good measures, that I will never, EVAR resort to plastic surgery to get it. May I present, freaky Tara Reid ass!!***

***I will not pay for your doctor visits if you go blind, ok? OKAY??!?!

I know this picture is so old but I love it anyway.

Pumpkins be damned! It's motherfrackin' Halloween!

So apparently the only thing I needed to make my feel better was 9+ hours of sleep and a visit with my new friend David and some steak and some Fringe. Voila! Parfait!


As much as I love Phish, and that's much to Husband's dismay, I just hate hate hate The Grateful Dead. Yech.

I heard a rumor that the band was getting back together. I became the instant hit with some friends. Doubtful that I'll ever relive my traveling across the country/traveling across Europe to see Phish perform days ever again, but it's fun to think so.

Ever since I turned off the news, and mostly refuse to pay any further attention to politics, my life has improved so much. Finding grassroots ways to improve the community through activities like joining a co-op and working in a community garden, check! Sitting biting my nails pit in my stomach watching men thrash each other, again, and not being very convinced that much is ever going to really change? No thanks. I don't have that much life in my time and I certainly don't have enough life left to be bogged down by all that. Isn't this such a different me than before? Hmm it may be the retrograde of Mercury, but even then, for once, ain't that a good thing, I'm not making any promises.

But then I'm reading the moon will be void of course on election day. I'm certainly not making any promises!!

Dear Mom,

remember when you were being cute and bought us those Chi-pods (ipods from China) and they worked for 5 minutes and then we had to add them to a landfill. You are so cute! But please, don't repeat. And wow, you are the best.


Fall is finally here. The weather is wonderful. The music's good. Cleaning up my garden is working well. This weekend begins my Balsamic phase, time of letting go and cleansing, and where a better place to do it than VooDoo Fest!! Have you seen this lineup? And we lucked out and have this totally bad-ass hotel in the Quarter. Woo!

I can't be who I'm not. I can't be what they want me to be. I tried and it didn't work. What's for trying again? Nothing. Nothing at all. And even still, so sure we were on something. Don't say you know we've gone Andromeda.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Smacked upside of the head

WOW! Have you seen this?

Husband and I got to see former Secretary of State Colin Powell speak at a national convention for Husband's work. I found the man to be incredibly interesting, very sharing of his personal side, and so so smart. This endorsement makes me very proud.

Completely utterly exhausted after this weekend. Really looking forward to scary movies and snuggle times tonight.

Counting down to Voodoo Fest!!!

Friday, October 17, 2008

right on time

I'm so late, but this is awesome!

Palin As President.

Click away, have some volume up, have fun! Because, hahaha, it could never happen, right? ha hahahahahahaha joke's on us all! hahahahaha

She smokes and drinks and don't come home at all

Can I get some Tears for Fears up in this bitch?!

HOLLA! That's better.

this ocean is wrapped around that pineapple tree

If I would die a thousand deaths I could always come back to you.

Balenciaga is one of my all-time favorite designers. It just doesn't get any better than this dress. The orange. The stitching. The cut. Oh. oh.

in the garden, I did no crime

War, children, it's just a shot away.

Today seems as good as any to be a Rolling Stones day. I need more Rolling Stones but Hubs hates 'em so there goes that good idea.

New Of Montreal should be out now!!! Squee!!!!


I'm becoming a little too obsessed with Lewis Carroll lately. Did you know he invented portmanteau? Wonderful! I wonder if the writer from the Times knows that with his fug reference. Ugh. Don't get me started.

This may all have something to do too with my ever present love of psychedelic rock of the 60s and 70s (White Rabbit just came on but that's too gross and had to be skipped and blocked). But you know, take some acid and read a little Vic Lit. Sounds like fun! I get it Jefferson Airplane! I get it Cream!

Anyway I find a lot of pleasure in reading Lewis Carroll. I don't see at all in what sense of raising children that those Victorians would ever let a young child read Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass though because that shit is scary! And f-ed up! It's just how I don't understand requiring a child to go to church to only tell him he's going to Hell. H-E-double hockey sticks. But whatever.

And I understand how it's supposed to teach children not to be afraid of growing up and the strange encounters that can only really be experienced one time in your life, as a child. You can never get that back, no matter how much Rush you listen to. There are few first times and we can never get them back. Is this why people propagate? To re-enter the bubble?

And did you also know the origin of the Hatta (The Mad Hatter)? This character has surreptitiously held my attention since I was wee. He's terrifying for one, and I've always had a macabre fascination with loving creepy men (in the figurative fashion, natch ha ha!) and I just recently learned his purpose. Mad as a Hatter comes from, again, Victorian England when hats were not only fashionable for men, but served to warm in the bitterly cold winters. But people were poor and hats were expensive. Many made of cheaply bought, poor quality wool which was cut into sheets and dipped into vats of boiling mercury. The hatters inhaled the toxic fumes and washed their hands regularly by hand dipping the wool in order to immediately form it into shape. A mad hatter was characterized by his schizophrenic actions and often, died young, penniless, and insane. There is no purpose in working an honest trade. Isn't that wonderful! How delightfully Britishly bleak!

But I mean really, how do you explain that to a child?! Come on! Although Jabberwocky is fun to read aloud. And who doesn't like to say Bandersnatch?

Bandersnatch. Come on, say it with me.


Ok ok I've officially lost it.

I have to send a little pip for my friend Virginia. She's off to Germany to be an au pair for some big time scientist family. Isn't that exciting!!!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Get out of my garden

Do you ever have the feeling, like you can't breathe and someone, something, very weighty is just resting, floating, right on your shoulders, right behind you? A presence so thick it makes you actually turn your head thinking someone is there. And they're not.

This is how my stress manifests.

I'm so ready to get out of here. Run a marathon. Eat a Twix. Punch somebody. Take a very very cold shower. Drink some pinot. Avoid this weekend at all costs.

So in lighter news, here's some random pictures to cheer me up.

I want to look this cool when I'm this casual.

And this hot the rest of the time.

I just so love this photo.

and this one. They're so defeatist.

But moreso I love her fashion sense.

Do you see how those are little Aladdin pants underneath? I would TOTALLY rock those!

And her sense:

That's Joanna Newsom if you can believe it!

And of course, this dress is amazing:

on another note.

My Husband is related to this guy somehow.

I put a spell on you because you're mine

Personally, I don't see what the big deal is. She looks wonderful. I want to look that way someday.

From this article:

"Witness the Obama Belt, a piece of partisan primping so fug it makes the humble campaign button look positively chic."

So, apparently, I could work at the NY Times bc I write like that for fun, not for pay. BECAUSE IT'S OK TO WRITE LIKE THAT FOR FUN BUT NOT FOR PAY. Jesus. No wonder we're all so dumbed down. It's one thing to speak in slang, to write in slang, it's very chic and quotidienne and whatever you want to call it. It is not, however, ok to write as such, publish as is, in a traditional (if even online) daily news journal.

I learned a dear lesson from an old teacher, Miller Williams. In so many words he told me, it's ok if your character is retarded. It is not okay if she speaks as such. He was such an old, cranky dick but I completely got the message, loud and clear.

And the English language is so dear to my heart. Olde English (Ye Olde Coffee Shoppe) and Latin being two of my favorite groups of study in my life. And it's a painful language to learn or teach because it's Germanic based and German makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. I feel sorry for ESL students; adults trying to further their lives; to accustom because the language itself is so clunky to learn.

Anyway, whatever. Moving on.

Did not watch the debate last night. The world didn't explode. Actually feel pretty good about that.

Working and growing this company was something, apparently, I was born to do, run a business I mean. It's just too bad it couldn't have been women's fashion accessories (I had dreams of branding...) and that it has to be medical supplies. Orwell.

REM in about a week!!!! BOOYA!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Do you like my acid rock?

My friend Peter has gotten Thai on my brain. Hmm tasty Fayetteville Thai. Can't beat it anywhere, and I've tried!

So here Little Rock, I need to tell you something.

Dear Little Rock,

Please get some decent Thai food. That stuff you had floating around in my soup the other day that called itself Thai, that wasn't Thai. That was a piece of a creature from the deep. Please sweet Little Rock, get your act together. I'm not keen on moving again.

love, Sully

It's inspiring to write these letters.

Dear Madonna,

Sorry about all that divorce stuff. But you know, you can't really rule the world. I miss the fun of your album Music.


Dear Pink Floyd,

Just all die already. Jesus just freaking quit already. I have vomit in my mouth from having Another Brick in the god-damned wall come on my Pandora AGAIN. Just ugh. Vom. Totally vom.

up yours,

This is pretty fun!

Dear 12 year olds in the ESPN Classic Scrabble tourny I watched all day Saturday,
I hope all my kids turn out to be just like you. Really. You're all awesome little gardens.


Dear RSS Feeders,

This bud's for you! Thanks for proving that my limited html skills work!

Peace out,

We want the funk and nothing else will do

My first garden club meeting was a success!!! I was so happy about it, learned a little, met some great women, etc etc. More importantly, it was a lot of fun!

I don't know what's in the water, but the last few days I have had the best hair evar!
My favorite bit from Talk Soup, has their own album out on itunes now! If you've got some kids, make them dance, dance!!!

YO Gabba Gabba!!

Doesn't that just kill you?! I love that show bc it's like P-Funk for lil'uns!!!
And we all know, I make my funk the P-Funk!

I have so much work to accomplish today.
Hours of entertainment.

Is it lime beer thirty yet? Crysee, I am so ready to plan San Diego! Are you ready to ride in classy trashy style?

Do you think Hertz will have this available? haha!


Do you find you remember things that well?

Down by the Seaside is my favorite Led Zeppelin song.
Really, nothing puts me in a more dreamy, lovey mood.

I am currently addicted to and following Tim Gunn's Guide to Style. Almost turning 30 is stressing my style quotient. I am too old to be wearing trashy rags and I am too young to look matronly. So, THANK YOU Tim Gunn. You are showing me the way! So I've decided to quit wasting money on junk clothes and invest in some fitting, classic pieces that I can funk up with jewelry and shoes and purses (my specialty anyway).

For those who don't know:

yesterday I found my sweatsuit alternative (cute cotton dress from the Gap) and my day dress which looks cute and yet serious as can be on me!! I'm so excited! I also got my fall/winter/and spring boots! Now I know it seems I may have done a lot of shopping yesterday, and I did. But that's the thing with losing weight, is suddenly your old clothes look really bad on you! The boots were totally for want, not need, but the purse. Oh, God, how can I explain this.***

The purse was for me. Ever since owning my store in Fayetteville, I have wanted and wanted but never allowed myself to buy a purse that I wasn't selling. It's such a personal metaphor for me. After I closed my store, I wore jewelry and carried bags I really didn't like out of obligation. I felt obligated to carry that albatross around my neck because my business didn't make it in the end (oh but the beginning is a completely different story. We were on cloud 9 there for a few years. Silver lining, huh?)

I turned down the Wal-mart design opportunities, the Marni opportunities, the other retail opportunities because I was so depressed by it all. I felt like I had just pfft! failed. EPIC FAIL! I closed down the month after my wedding. That was Jan. 31, 2007. It has taken me until now to realize what good actually came from that, from failing. Gave me some new perspective on my sometimes cruel attitude towards life. And now I can just sit and hold my new bag and pet it and sad as it may be, it really makes me feel good. Can one really have a love/hate relationship with fashion accessories? Really?

When life gives you the finger, f it up!

It has let me know that I don't always have to give and give. Sometimes it's ok to take. And then I'm having these revelations and guess what arrives in my inbox? Guru Tim talking about "what have you done for you lately?" This is how I choose to live my life now, in celebration.

***But really, it may all have also been inspired by too much Rachel Zoe Project. And really, what's with all the mumus, Rachel? Jeez.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

she reads Simone de Beauvoir, in her American circumstance

Ahh, back from the 3 day vacation! And not a single post the whole time. That's a nice break.

Weekend events:

-Served 15 people and kids chili frito pies Friday night. I was so nervous that we wouldn't have enough food and we did and everyone loved it! Rice crispie treats for dessert. And cherry 7up to drink (can you remember the last time? It tastes just as good!!!) It was a perfect Friday night meal. We played Wii sports. Helped some people out. All in all, a feel good time.

-Watched The Box, by Takashi Miike (famous for Ichi the Killer and Audition --both, believe it or not, past my horror threshold) and it was one of the most beautiful short films I've ever seen. Yes, the premise is horror, but it's more thriller/drama. And God, the snow scenes. Truly amazing. Whereas I DO NOT recommend the other two, ever, vomit, gag, gross, The Box is a perfect film. One I'd like to own.

-The Hogs beat Auburn!!! Hubs and I had a really good time with friends watching this occur. And then White Water Tavern. You know, it's fun to go with friends, but not that fun. I don't know. I think I'll stick to porch time. And it's cheaper!

-Got too see Fanny and Nick's new house and it's wonderful! Then Mexican and meeting baby old man Owen. He's adorable! I can't wait for more pics. He's all a wrinkly, old man, month old, 3 foot long baby. Cute!

-Monday I had the day off. Accomplished the usual (laundry, read Summer by Edith Wharton (not my favorite), painted a dahlia from my yard (I'm working with watercolors!!), cooked amazing noodle free veggie lasagna ( you use eggplant and zucchini and mushroom slices instead of noodles--delish!), read October's Elle, watched a bunch of The Rachel Zoe project, took Wren to the vet and finally, late late, went to bed.) A perfect day off. I never left the house!

OOOH!! And we'll be spending Christmas alone together again this year (it was Vegas, baby! for our 1 year anniversary!) so Husband surprised me by booking us the King Suite at the Mount Magazine lodge on Christmas day!!! I'm so excited and then we get to come home and celebrate Spencer's 30th birthday with him as well!! These holidays are shaping up quite nicely!!!

Saturday, October 11, 2008

those kids were fast as lightening


80 mins of kickboxing and capoeira make me one tired warrior!

I need a little more chi in my tai chi. And a lime beer!

Friday, October 10, 2008

The wall I made, will I find you there?

Today is such a good day but it is also testing me intensely.

I'm thinking out loud here mostly but it's just too much to keep in. My job, we schlep medical supplies in and out all day long. It's not as boring as it sounds but sometimes it can be boring.

Another nutritional company in town has decided not to provide for people on state insurance, meaning those people have Medicaid or Medicare or both solely, to provide for their health needs, and this company doesn't want to deal with all the red tape that includes, or whatever.

I have never understood people that want to cut these services. Republicans don't want to pay more taxes. People don't want to take on others' burdens. Not very evangelical I might add, but I can't expect much when they aren't rewarded for doing so. Sadly enough there's not enough left to go round the table after everyone is mostly, partially cared after.

In the last week we've gotten some very interesting cases. Now these are all nutritional, 80% of them are tube fed, meaning they can not physically, for fear of death, take nutrition, any nutrition liquid or semi or solid by mouth.

We have a new patient born with liver and stomach and half of his GI tract on the outside of his skin. We have a patient who was shaken so violently as a baby, and has still managed to grow some, but who's esophagus never fully developed so he has to take nutrition through a tube in his stomach. We have a patient who has been in a coma since she was about 5-6 years old and has still grown into a small adult. She's still in a coma. Got sick and her parents called us because on her 19th birthday, her parents put a little birthday cake in her GI tube to celebrate and didn't understand why it made her ill.

It is the government's job to take care of its people who either by birth defect or poverty or both are unable to take care of themselves. Hello fishes and loaves here. You can't feed people spirituality, educate them, or inspire them if they are hungry, homeless, or just plain destitute.

Through this program at our church, we're feeding a big group of people tonight who are homeless but have been working really hard and are almost ready to rotate out. They have children, medical needs, education needs. They are pretty regular people. I'm excited but nervous because I've never fed 20 people at one time before. I hope they have patience with me.

There is no proper way to express my fears here. I hope my children are born healthy. I hope that if they aren't, there are medical services available to help them, because having children born in those medical states is very expensive, and a big reason why a lot of families have to go on Medicaid. I hope that no one I know has to deal with that either. But it's hard, and I almost can't even say these things aloud, because in the way nature works, and seeks balance, what doesn't happen in one place has to happen in another. If not me, then someone else.

I wish people would understand how much speaking up and speaking out about these medical costs and state insurance programs and nationwide public insurance actually does help. And I'm not afraid to say that I think grassroots organizations and support groups get a whole lot more done than Congress does.

But, put a President in the White House that doesn't make you choose between giving you ONE TIME $5K to put down on an ANNUAL $12K insurance policy or paying off your credit card debt because you're a responsible person. Vote Obama, Vote Obama, Vote Obama.

no, I was all horns and thorns, sprung out fully formed,

So I promised you pictures from our trip. Here are my favs. Don't worry friends and family, we're working on sending the link out to you. Please refer all questions and gasps to the peanut gallery posted elsewhere. We had a really good time!!!

NYC, Paris, London (9 days, way too fast)

Brooklyn Bridge

My favorite! Octopi on Coney Island!

Foucault's Pendulum, not as interesting as the book made it out to be!

Our Lady.

Such amazing dahlia's au Jardin de Luxumbourg

Handsome Hubs on top of the Eiffel Tower while I cowered against the wall all panick attack-y (you know, it's really way up there!)

Quel interessant!

L'apertif et vin au Refuge aux Fondues

Dinner at 10:30, all the wine there is served out of glass baby bottles complet avec rubber nipples. Parfait!

An Abbey Road break for it! Nicole Kidman was in the studio that day. We talked with some very nice Brit paparazzi!

Our dinner of grilled ox heart? I think I did!! I LOVE the Cinderella reference here but it was so dark, aka intimate in there, that the pic's not so great.

All in all, a wonderful trip! Next stop, Mexico!!!

Hoping that I see you on the street

Have you seen this? Homie Abe! It's awesome!

Thursday, October 9, 2008

I'm going to shoot him with my Bop Gun

Last night I had lady time with dearest Piper and came home a little bit happier than normal. Turns out, one can have a really good time on Michelob Ultra.

Anyway came home to this and I feel the Second Coming has already come:


They teased me back in May of last year with the pilot and it took a whole year but now there's a full season being shown on Adult Swim. I would love to post stills from it all up and down this blog but the images are all incredibly gruesome and violent and disturbing and they all make me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

So yeah, I'm totally not ready to have kids yet, but won't you come and join me in my secret world?

I was a little nappy headed boy!

Remember how cool the video for Herbie Hancock's Rockit was/is. Well enjoy!

I used to love this video although the mannequin lady legs always freaked me out. In fact, all those mannequins are freaky!

I'm getting super stoked about the Halloween season. We have the porch all decorated with mums and pumpkins and the inside of the house I have my Fall tapestry fabrics laid out and more pumpkins and turkeys. Yippee! I love Fall!! And here's another few reasons why I love Fall, my pretty pretty gardens, Madeline and LoLo:

I love the trick-or-treaters coming to the door. I love candy (duh). I love spooks and ghouls and freaks and you! Piper is hosting Halloween Bunko complete with pigs-in-a-blanket mummies!! And we get to go to Voodoo Fest in New Orleans and I get to see Robin!!


For now, Stevie Wonder!

I promise to finish the trip picture link tonight and post it. It's about time!

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

No Parking on the Dance Floor

So there's a name for all the music so dear to my heart, and it's sadly rather anti-climactic.


See Midnight Star. Zapp and Roger. The Dazz Band. Johnny Guitar Watson. Some Prince. Some Rick James.

I wanted it to be called something cool. Cooler than Funk. And Funk is a pretty cool title. Actually it's an awesome title. But you know there's also Prog. Or Emo. Or Acid Punk. Or Ambient.




I just found my fav At the Drive In cd the other day. I thought I had worn it out and thrown it away but One Armed Scissor is making a mega comeback in my car right now!!

Swing down sweet chariot and let me ride


Drunk emailing?


I checked this out of the library yesterday on a whim and was pleasantly surprised, so much so, I also finished it yesterday.

My girlfriends always had a term for the people I dated up until Hubs. "Su-Lauren Cute." This was not to say that the boy in question wasn't cute but he just wasn't. He wasn't Abercrombie cute. He wasn't Polo cute. He wasn't even Gap cute. And most of the time, they were right. Looking back through pictures I think, A: Wow I looked young. And B: Wow he wasn't cute! (No offense). But anyway so they could never figure it out. Still can't. The term is still oft-referenced when we all get together or in our lengthy email chains. What was the attraction? I can't put my finger on it, but Keith Gessen completely has. The founder of n+1 magazine, he's got the smarts to back all this up too. 3 guys, might as well be 1 guy, aspects from starting college in 1997-1998, and then coming to realize their listless lives in 2003-2004 and then again just before turning 30. It was almost everyone I'd ever dated rolled into one! Ha. Oh that may only be funny to me.

Also only funny to me. Next up on the reading list: Summer and The Custom of the Country by Edith Wharton, one of my all time favorite authors. I think I have her almost catalgoued out but then I keep finding more gems!! Makes me very excited. She's really amazing. House of Mirth is one of my all time favorite novels. She also has a decorating guide. And who doesn't love Victorian wallpapers?!

$1,200 a roll? I'll take it!

Ow, funk me!

Thanks Parliament for bringing me back up. Last night's debate was truly, mostly a bummer. I'll have to say, I was glad when Obama woke up and starting pulling the specifics that this campaign needs to beat the droning, boring, but extremely safe-in-their-slumber choice of McCain. Bomb Bomb Iran reference was gold. AIG execs spending bailout money to go to a spa and spend $440K. Gold. Talking about the high salaries of Senators and how the proposed tax cuts won't be affecting you, because you don't need them after 8 years of tax cuts, spot on.

Generally talking about the middle class, not so good. Did you guys not see the people in the background yawning, checking their watches, and batting their eyes to stay awake. If it weren't for the ulcer in my stomach, I too would have retreated to the bedroom to finish my book.

But you know, whatever. Someone wins Someone loses. Why does there always have to be a winner? At what cost? Visit your DailyKos and get Kosblogger Hunter's take on things. In fact, read his whole portfolio. I find him to be adept and profound. Talents I need in this vile America. But it could be worse, right?

But anyway, people "don't find the attacks compelling." We've heard it all before, this blame game. Sen. Obama, you have to win. There is no other option. Please stop the blanket references and get us some specifics. I appreciate the figures, but they don't really mean much when the average American has no idea on how many bills a Senator votes. But these spending figures into perspective, because despite how I feel, my intelligent Husband points out to me constantly that we Americans are dumbed down, glazed over, a product of fear but also of surrender. We have given up our ability to fight because what's the point. Wake us up from this coma. To do that, you have to be a bit more liberal and push not only for the middle class but all those adults and children living below the poverty line, and make it more known in America (but I don't want to ask too much now. I'm also afraid of the men in black, the wolf at the door.)

I think people need to know that the McCain/Palin campaign stands for blatant racism and slander. It is not okay for you to stand there while people yell "Terrorist" and "Kill Him" after you mention your opponent's name. Anyone with an ounce would immediately denounce that on the spot. Anyone with a soul.

It's not okay, as Tom Brokaw pointed out, to lead people to believe that this economy will turn around in 4 or even 8 years. A lesson both candidates could learn. I thank my lucky stars that my Husband and I are making it. That our families are. But goodness, when the DOW plummets 30% in one year, no one is safe.

It is not okay to just blatantly lie to people who, although I shudder to think, think that all media is balanced and that the tv would never tell a lie.

Where history has taken us.

But if I have to, my tv is stuck on MSNBC and Keith Obermann and Jim Cramer (I LOVE Mad Money) and that new lesbian lady that Hubs likes.

Whatever. (Sound of throwing it all away)

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

the taste of her cherry chapstick

Again with the women hating. Sheesh. You know, Republicans, you kinda need us for the whole propagation of the species thing. And you piss us off, Aristophanes will plead, we will withhold sex for as long as necessary.

Generous Palmstroke

At least I don't have to worry about the environment when rednecks are already turning green!

Smart Car Monster Truck, I think so!

my darling, there's a place for us

So le sigh. Presidential debate round 2 tonight. I already have a pit in my stomach about it. Another bowl of homemade veggie pork chop soup (my special recipe) while we watch it. At least it will be a town hall forum, which was totally how Kerry was stomped on last go-round, but you know. At least it won't be town hall with Palin so she can show us how much she gets it.


I went jogging last night and I knew I shouldn't have because now my precious completely shot knees are all janked up. It's like the bad one is sore but the good one needs to be pulled out of socket and started up all over again.

And have I mentioned my mom is on Facebook now? That is so weird to me! She has her little travel group of friends. It's pretty cute but you know sometimes you just want to be yourself. In that way I would never cuss in front of my mom, completely disrespectful, but I can cuss here bc it's my blog. My time. I feel strange in a way that now on my FB, I have to edit myself bc what if my mom is watching. Totally stupid, I know, bc my mom has more of a life than me.

Have you started reading Kick-Ass yet? Because you should. I can't wait. Hubs just finished 1-4 and now it's mine. All mine. Yippee!!

Ugh and one of my coworkers is blaring Rush right now. Help us. He's complaining about how liberal the Dems are, smearing Obama and Pelosi, etc. Pretty par for the course. The problem is, and I think I might have spoken too harshly about this elsewhere, we're not liberal enough as Democrats. I will surely vote for Obama but I really don't feel he's doing enough to push the page. The high road is fine and Christly-like, but it's getting past that. Has been for a while. I'm not calling for mud slinging (but I am), and Dems are no angels, but I think the high road should be saved for Christ himself and we need to do a few more earthly maneuvers (like character assassinations). Now what those are, I don't have the room here (unless you buy me some time).

And people will think I'm nutters.

But I am. I'm looking beyond the party now. 28 days until I can get on with my life.

Monday, October 6, 2008

I am the happiest woman among all women

There are so many wise lyrics in Joanna Newsom's Only Skin. My favorites today are the ending, where:

but I'm starving and freezing in my measly old bed!
then I'll crawl across the salt flats to stroke your sweet head
come across the desert with no shoes on!
I love you truly, or I love no-one


fire moves away, son
why would you say
I was the last one?

clear the room! there's a fire, a fire, a fire
get going, and I'm going to be right behind you
and if the love of a woman or two, dear,
couldn't move you to such heights, then all I can do
is do, my darling, right by you

I used to couldn't stand her, gave my copies of her away. Bad advice I'd felt. Good riddance. But then I listened in my way. And I heard her. I actually heard myself. And I like her too because her themes echo ones I treasure in other music by other women I id with. The idea of cherry tree women. Squid ink drawings. Phoenix/ashes/bombout.

oh Mondays. Why aren't there more coffees in your hours?

Ralph Wiggum!!!

The Assassination of Jesse James by the coward Robert Ford was amazing. One of the most beautiful movies I've ever seen. The cinematography was so unique. Like looking at daguerreotypes. Like looking through wavy leaden glass. The closest I have seen, and loved, in beauty, is The Thin Red Line. I feel like the Academy got their roles reversed though, in nominating Casey Affleck for Best Supporting Actor. If anything, Brad Pitt as Jesse James was tertian to Affleck as Robert Ford and that other crazy guy, currently in Choke. Affleck should have been up for Best Actor. No doubt.


"Life is a luminous pause between two great mysteries, which yet are one." —Carl Jung

Take three long deep breaths, followed by four quick breaths. Do this until you reach enlightenment, or temporarily pass out. It's not a wonder we're not meant to receive that much oxygen to the brain, but I highly recommend this trick if you're ever stuck between a rock and a hard place and need a more valuable Magic 8-Ball bit of clarity.


While away, we saw John Waters in the West Village and Nicole Kidman's ponytail at Abbey Road Studios.
If I had been quicker, I would have given Mr. Waters a hug. He was looking rather ragged, and, dare I say it, cancerous that day. I hope he's well.

Mrs. Kidman's pone looked fairly typical. Nothing much to report there.


I did not, in fact, go over the trip phots this weekend. I did, in fact, buy start up water color supplies and pumpkins!!!

Friday, October 3, 2008

I may be paranoid, but no android

For the life of me, I'm trying here people. Sometimes there's just too much I need to say aloud, but then, it's like, you know, you can't.

For those who haven't met her yet. The little lady on your viewing left, Miss Mazie Piggle, is currently in my lap as I type. Isn't she the cutest stinker?!


Wilbur J Waddlesworth III. He is my handsome little man.

(And PS the dog boarders put the Harlequin kerchiefs on them, not me. That's gay, albeit adorable!!)

So anyway,
I'm hunting for all these Fall decorations I'm sure I have. I mean it's been a year but I know they're there. I have Hubs pull down all these unidentified boxes precariously perched in the closet and it's hidden books we've been looking for, junk, wedding stuff that we still have yet to go through. The dogs and cats winding around my ankles. It's a mess.

And I find this one book full of albums. Those little albums you used to could, and I assume you still can, buy at Old Navy. Perfect sized to fit pics or postcards. I start thumbing through. wow. Remember Sweet Pee, how you made me keep the first phone number a boy gave me in college (bc you also told me I couldn't give him my number, declasse). Still have it. Pics of Hembree. The little alien head boxer with the red gloves. Remember him? Where did he go? The pics of the imacs in all the colors that I loved. Pics of all of us lining the beds of trucks, mason jars for glasses full o' beer. The giant Mario mug. Ceci, ce n'est pas un pipe postcard. My bleach blond Marilyn hair and my first shot of Jaeger and that face that I make when I take shots. And my first invitation to a party I actually wanted to go to (Dylan Bootleg party in a dorm room). I still have it all. We were certainly asking for it. Ha!

And then I found my old journal. Gifted by a boyfriend. A precious gift. I will never know it's value because he never understood the value in giving it. Firm and soft brown leather worn softer with time. The leather darkened. Addressed to me in the front in tiny script. I had lost it. And I do that. I find it, thumb through it, tuck it away. A year later (I think it has been about that long), I'll find it again. Thumb through it. and etc. So I thumbed through it. There's one page towards the back where some flowers had been pressed. Pansies. I just planted a bunch of lovely royal blue pansies yesterday. I felt the way that time has made their petals smooth, leather-like. The sun comes in by where I'm sitting. By the lemon tree we had to bring in out of the cold. And I see it. Tiny strips of cellophane tape, yellowing slightly on the edges. Tape. I'd never seen that before. A gift from 2000 and I had never seen the tape. Which made me smile because I treasured that journal so much, I painstakingly eyed every little detail in the binding, the stitching, every page minutely, but ever so slowly. Not wanting to ruin the surprise. It actually took a couple of years before I ever even saw the pressed flowers. And now, 8 years later, I see the tape. A new surprise. And it did make me smile, in that way. He cheated, I thought to myself. These flowers aren't pressed at all. And if that's the case, as I tuck it away for who knows how long, I feel the spool unreel another turn. Game on.

I would love to gnaw on your bones

I can't even tell you how beautiful these were in person and this shite photo doesn't do the justice. I still haven't decided if my fav was the neon green with the rhinestones (necklace only of course, the combo neck and earrings is far too garish) or the neon orange.

Harrod's is every little girl's dream.

And at 789 Brit. pounds or so, that's only roughly, um, my credit card limit! SOLD!

Biba platforms. Enough said.

I wait for the sound

Please buy for me.

Oh yeah, and this:

Anne Harris, Angel II, 2007.

But more like this:

Anne Harris, Self Portrait (Orange Series), 2007.

Anne Harris, Self Portrait (Invisible Girl I)

I have, once again, to send all my shouts to MidWest Capacity. Those guys keep me sane.

I just told the biggest lie

Me, before the show. Am I blushing?

So, it's practically lunch time, right?

What you've all been waiting for:

My review of Equus, a tale of a naked Harry Potter dong.

While planning our trip a million months ago, I had read that Equus was opening in NY while we were going to be there. I knew there was no f-ing way we could get tickets or afford tickets. Boy was I wrong! See I guess the trick is that you see the show while it's still in the preview stage, before it's officially premiered. That way the celebs haven't come out, or the critics, and it's like a supped up dress rehearsal.

We got dolled up. Had a drink at world famous Sardi's (and it wasn't that expensive, quel surpris!). And then piled in and saw the show.

I hate to say this, but Blah Blah. It was Equus. A Play. Dated. Terrific writing but long. Long as hell. Terrible I know. All in caps and such. But really, the play wasn't nearly as dynamic as Radcliff's acting. He was truly a gem. Carried that whole weighty thing on his shoulders alone, I feel. The horses were quite amazing but his interaction with them was it. And then, the second act.

The climax in the story. It was very well played although completely expected. But damn if Harry Potter did not get completely buck naked and simulate the missionary with a fully naked girl and then dance around (portraying agony, mind you) with his schlong all a floppin'. Crude? Well you didn't see it. It was full on and he has quite the bod but it was out there for so long that I actually could afford to look away from it and watch the play. To clarify, at this point in the story, while he's naked, all he's doing is portraying emotion. There's no dialogue. No story movement. So it was okay to watch him. Flip. Flop. Flop. Flop.

I had to hand it to him. I never had the balls to do modeling at school for the art classes and the times I sat for friends took a huge amount of courage. And I mostly kept my clothes on.

It really proved him. He will go far, I hope. Because for all that, it's a terrible last note for your grandkids before your career heads straight to video.

DAMN! I wish I was yr Lov-Ah!

Sergio Rossi Buckle Peep-toe Pumps $650

'cause blondes here don't jump out of cakes

This is my new favorite website. Bombs away!

So the debate last night. I had to call my mom after it was over (they've yet to learn to pause dvr, it's ok, they're old). My mom is vehemently against Palin as an insult to women everywhere. This, of course, I agree with completely. And my dad has been a closet Obama-er since the primaries (don't tell my mom). So I was completely floored when I called and they thought she did pretty good. Um, hello. She didn't actually say anything.

One thing I carried away from The Difference Engine (other than Victorian London was a dirty, filthy mess) is that it's so easy to say so much that doesn't actually say anything. This main character gets slandered by a bunch of ads that just rile up the public against him but don't ever actually accuse him of anything. So is it slander then? No, it's Republican strategery. Remember that?

And that's how I felt about last night. You know Palin, you can't bullshit a bullshitter. And you, ma'am, seem to be in the top leagues. You will fit right on in in Washington, should your time ever come there. In one way, it's fascinating to watch how a fox will get out of a trap knowing it always has the last end option of self-sacrifice and leg chewing.

Hmmm. And anyway. It's Friday. I planted a bunch of beautiful mums yesterday. Pic up later along with pics of our trip. Hubs is working on his picasa link but I think I'll spare you all the pics and just post the best. But it's at home. And I still have work to do. Tonight, decorate the rest of the house for Fall. Tomorrow, farmer's market and pumpkins to buy!

I will leave you with a poster found on the metro. Some documentary coming out in Paris soon.

Anyone know a good acorn squash recipe? It's what's for dinner!

Thursday, October 2, 2008

you can use my skin, to bury secrets in

One thing about Paris, completely, entirely mine, I will miss her forever.

Husband pointed out to me that my worldview is naive, utterly disoriented (lacking orientation, removal from the Orient), and far too optimistic. I understand him, and it's not as harsh as it seems. He is not a harsh man, gentle lamb. But Paris really pointed this out to me. How many times have I been to Paris now. Really, like 8-10 times and I'm only 28. And how hard is it becoming for me to forgive anymore? One reason he and I got married, that he actually saw me for the first time for me, was that I forgave him. The hard part about forgiving is it chips away at you, always trying to remember why.

So then Paris. It was so achingly beautiful. Cloudy and sunny and cloudy. Didn't rain on us once. We went all over that damn city. Again. Again. For me. I was proud to show him the city I love most. I was proud to start day-dreaming in French again. To not think about those things at home. Brush my palms together and I gave current events up. Realized after this election I am done with politics. Will focus more on my independent studies. The Hillcrest Gardening Society that accepted my membership application. The taking this and working up a plan for a community garden at my church. The taking this and giving back as I feel the only way I can. My country won't do it for me anymore. Sadly.

So Paris. We took complete advantage, walking 10 miles a day, saw her all. I could explain things, history, and although sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who listens to me, I think he heard. But mostly it was nice to be so removed. We will never be able to afford to live there. We could never get the visas to live there. It will always be for vacation. But the bitter part, that I'm so glad we enjoyed it as much as we did, because I for one, won't ever be going back.

I felt like, in traveling there with him, that a large chapter had finished and it was time to get on with my life. Unplug there. Disconnect there and reconnect here. I have so many strong memories and feelings tied with Europe, but especially Paris. For all the things I felt I was going to be, in my life, with or without you.

Like so many people I have known in my life, Paris is the one I go back to even when she doesn't invite me. She doesn't call, or write. She's never, in all our years of knowing each other, asked me over for tea at her place to hear her side of things. How we both fell out over the same boy. And so, like how I hate it, when a ribbon sliver falls away, I cut her out.

I'll still need her parfum des violettes. I'll still need cafe creme. I'll still need escargots, cornichons, and sel gris. And YSL. But the way we're so global now, points I'll touch on later, I don't need her that much anymore. I have enough copies of Asterix and Obelix, and le Petit Prince. And Zola. I have enough of myself.

It's still very sad. Sadly so.

Just a minute of your time, yes, I've been known to delude myself

At what point do we say: it is not okay to hate on women?

I'm still riding the catch-up pony at work so posts will still be spare. Oh yeah, and I'm snotty sick! Sweet! Nothing I love more than riding in airplane freezing cold recycled air and breathing in the badness.

Next time we go overseas, I'm hitting up the QE2.

All Aboard!

Finished The Difference Engine, according to MBR, the origin of steam-punk, my newest, latest obsession. I like wearing knickers guv'na!

Almost finished reading ZZ Packer's Drinking Coffee Elsewhere. At first I wasn't impressed but then the middle stories just flourish. The end, though, is seriously letting me down.

Next up, reattempt Catch-22, or Snuff, or Blood Meridian or Outer Dark.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Help me scrape the mucus off my brain

We're back. Trip was wonderful. I am sick as a dog. More info and pics later. Until then I promised you Tut...