Is she hiding in a hot dog?

Got a pig hiding in a truffle. (thanks T. Amos)

And no one had a problem with the kid Ace Ventura? Who do I look like? Mrs. Jesus?

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Oh sweet Hay-sus! Tax Time Mother F-ers!

Don't ask me why but I love tax season. I love reading up on tax strategy. I love maneuvering through the system. It's like my fantasy football, tax stra-tegery. It was actually a perk in my current job description, handling all things tax related. After owning my own business, running another's books and secrets, and finally running a third's finances (see the difference from when you're promoted from bookie/bookkeeper to CFO), I've collected a few tricks up my sleeves, a major one being able to read fine print. God, fine print is everywhere and it's already putting me in reading glasses, but the things you can catch. Getting screwed is the American way!

So I subscribe to all these money sites's emails and I think that Fidelity one up top is a good basic starter because I have a lot of friends who are teachers, trying to eco-improve their homes (won't my tank water heater just die already?!!), make over $50K a year combined, and I think it's good and responsible for us to start thinking in these terms. But if not, that's okay too. It's your checkbook. Just make sure in some way it is linked to a ROTH IRA. Those things are like two tickets to paradise.

Pack your bags! We leave tonight! (thanks E. Money)

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Moma and I started baking and cooking for the party last night. Candies and sweet potatoes for the tartlets and my organic carrot cake cupcakes. Keep your fingers crossed for these. They may become food for worms. Most of them turned out great. Firm. Carrot-y. Spicy (I LOVE Allspice). Some turned out softer than I would have liked. Some came out completely raw! AWESOME! So those went back in the oven. I don't know how re-baking baked goods works but damnit, I can say I tried. I don't know that they won't become big soggy piles of goo by party time but then we'll just make a game out of it. Set a target up at the fencerow. People love games at parties, right?

I made a lot of mistakes. I.made.a.lot.of.mistakes. Imadealotofmistakes. (thanks Sufjan)

What I think I need is another oven and a little Elf helper. Then I could get all this cooking done the day before. Presto! No problems. Oh and so my baby girls have named their elf on a shelf. HENRY! His name is Henry! I am so in love with those little girls. They make it so easy.

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Looking like a trainwreck. Wearing too much makeup. You'll never make your mind up. (thanks Jayhawks)

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Someone get that donut off my desk, ASAP.