Thursday, October 25, 2007

the keys to the kingdom are lost somewhere in the kingdom

Yesterday proved a challenge. I came out on top although sadly there were casualties. Letters that are all gone away, blue and red trimmed envelopes of memory, I miss you. But there's one left I found that I never opened and I never will and as long as I have that one, memories stay put where they belong.

All of this moving forward is really starting to take a toll on me. And I'm foolish enough to think it wouldn't. It wouldn't have been that big a deal. I keep thinking I find the starting point, where it all started, my progress, but I can't. Because I keep going back trying to find it. Lord, give me strength to move forward and quit going back. I can do it, I know I can.

I learned an interesting tidbit today. Celtic monks wandered Europe until they found the place that was calling to them; this was termed "seeking their place of resurrection." Isn't that fascinating and it may all be because I'm reading up so much on monastic life right now but can you imagine. Traveling your whole life just to find the place where you belong to die. And yes, proselytizing along the way but that not even being the point? And here all this time I thought that was the point. Sometimes I'm amazed that I understand anything at all.

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