Friday, January 11, 2008

since Prince was on Appollonia

Kanye, you crazy!

Anyway been working so hard, working out so hard, getting ready for New Orleans. Things things things

and I've been sleeping, trying to read at night but I'm just too sleepy wonderfully tired, and I know it's bc I have alot of reunion stress off my mind, but I've been going under and going going gone, not grinding my teeth and not to return until 8 hours later.

And my dreams! Everyone I'm a mermaid. Talking to my friends, old classmates, my mom about father figures, the election, singing songs. Weird!

Anyway so in a blur of trying to be creative I put this together. It's still totally crap but I have good ideas behind it I'm just not having the time to get them "expressed" correctly.

You know that's what they call squeezing the goo out of a dog's butt glands: expressing them. ha! the world is too funny.

Anyway, Melusine:


Take the nix roses, floating over my body.
Last night I dreamed I was Melusine—
my serpents’ tail wrapped tight in the reeds
my anguish, wrapped tight in the drinking fountain.
Elynas Elynas drink drink
Wanderlust and courage confuse in this completely alien world,
me against the world,
and no Godhead could save me from these dreams.

In realtime,
my women friends and I gather to drink
and share. To complain, our worries,
it is how we love one other.
Talk turns to family, insecurities of being enough,
birth fathers absent, one form or another.
On the surface, I am so tired of discussing this.
So I dive deep,

Elynas Elynas
You are the father the mother chose in kind
over daughters’ needs to punish, to act grown,
daughters’ needs to act the mother, woman, master
of the home. Time has no length to what daughters need.

[something else here, current day matters of relationships]

The void-of-course keeps me in the lowlands—
a Germany all too familiar, a season I cannot change—
and I accept these fay challenges
despite Ecclesiastes warning as the water will freeze
and I will be stuck. Melusine,
the ice will be too thick to break you free.

Us against the world

Just don’t say my name.

So I don't mind showing the stages pieces need before they either fall into oblivion or resurrect into something actual. I enjoy the process of editing. Much more than writing. It is a pleasant way to pass my free time.

That's how long I been on ya!

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